He Doesn't Mean It
by Mandithegleek
Summary: He doesn't mean it. I know he loves me he tells me everyday. He doesn't want to hurt me, he just has a temper and I know he regrets it. I can see it in his eyes every time. That's why no one can ever find out about him and what he does. Abusive!Carlos C/OC COMPLETE
1. Welcome To My Life

Riley Jordin Cavanaugh

AN: So this story came to me after having Love The Way You Lie on repeat forever because I was bored then after watching Big Time Rush the bad boy episode I had some crazy nightmare about Carlos beating up his girlfriend and I woke and was like holy shit I should that down so here it is? Should I go on with this? PS: I love Carlos I feel interested with this story though and I also own nothing just the OC's because I owned anything I'd be in Carlos Pena's arms haha.

"Riles!" His voice bellowed through my apartment 3K. "I know you're here."

I sat in my kitchen with tears already building up behind my brown eyes, threatening to fall at a moments notice. I bit my lip kept my eyes glued to the table. I tensed as his footsteps approached, and his warm spearmint breath forced it's way from my ear.

"You're not hiding from me are you?" He sounded playfully dangerous. "You know that annoys me."

I felt my stomach coil. "O-Of course n-not."

His tan hands were on my shoulders and I whimpered. "Look at me."

I turned around and looked into Carlos's beautiful chocolate eyes. "What?"

"Who the hell is Shane and why we're you texting at noon!" He spat waving my phone in my face.

I frowned at his grip on my arms. "My stepbrother y-you know that."

His hand flew across my cheek causing me to inhale sharply. "Don't lie to me or I-"

I yanked myself free and rolled my eyes. "Would it kill you to stop fucking accusing me on cheating everyday! I'm not, you're being an asshole!"

"You don't talk to me like that Riley!" He shouted as he clutched a fistful of my hair. "You know what happens when you do."

I shoved him away from me. "I hate you! I freaking hate you. You lie, you beat me up and you cheat. You're an asshole Carlos Garcia."

I winced as he banged my face into the wall. He pinned me against it with one arm and pressed his other hand to my cheek. "If I'm such an asshole then why do you stay with me huh? Why don't you leave?"

I rolled my eyes and let tears streak down my bruised face. "B-Because I love you and I'd be nothing without you and everyone k-knows it." I recited that with perfect memory, he instilled it into my mind.

His fist wailed into my face, casing me to cry out in pain as it throbbed on the right side of my face. I could feel a new black eye tingling already. "Good." He growled. His fingernails dug into my shoulder and neck.

"Let go please." I begged. "Please."

The Latino rolled his eyes and shoved me to the floor. "Clean yourself up, you're disgusting."

I pushed myself up with shaky arms. "Okay."

I made a few steps toward the bathroom before he grabbed me again. I was staring into his coal colored eyes. "We're going to have dinner with the guys. Cover yourself up and if you say _anything _you'll regret it."

I nodded and quickly scurried to the bathroom where I locked the door and peeled out my baggy shirt and sweats. I stared at myself, my skin was dull and pale and bruises covered my ribcage, stomach and back. My ribs stuck out from my skin due to Carlos's latest observation. I was too fat. I rolled my eyes and stepped into the warm stream of water. I gently washed myself and let water relax my body. I pressed my fingers against my black and blue belly and winced. He hit me with his hockey stick once last week. I stepped out and wrapped myself in a towel and brushed my hair out into it's normal curls.

"Hurry up!" I heard him yell.

I quickly dressed in a simple olive green dress and a white cardigan to hide my bruised arms. I pulled my cover up out of the drawer and tapped it onto my bruises and opened the door. He was waiting for me. He looked me up and down and pressed his lips against my ear.

"You look amazing." He sounded sweet and I blushed.

I took his hand and smile to myself, pretending he was done hurting me. We rode in the elevator down a floor and he paused before I could get out.

"One wrong move Riley. Don't provoke me."

I nodded and followed him inside the bright apartment. I looked around and saw Logan, James and Kendall. Carlos put on his goofy adorable act that I had fallen for.

"Hey Riley." Kendall smiled as I sat down. "Nice dress."

I smiled and smoothed out the skirt. "Thanks."

I glanced up, Carlos was in a deep conversation with James about hockey and I winced as Logan flopped down next to me and hugged me.

"H-Hey Logan." I grimaced

He grinned. "How's it going?"

"Okay, I have a meeting with Griffin next week about an album."

Kendall and Logan smiled at me. "That's cool."

I nodded. "Thanks. I'm really excited to be signed to a label after a few months of waiting I have so much written."

"You'll be great." Logan promised.

I thanked him and took my seat at the table next to Carlos. Kendall sits the food out on the table and I merely pick at my mashed potatoes as Carlos talks with his friends. I took a bite and swallowed. I fight a gasp when Carlos pressed his fingers into my back.

I shake it off and continue picking at my dinner. I zone out until I feel Carlos shake my shoulder.

"You okay babe?" He sounded concerned and I looked up. "You're quiet."

I shrugged. "My bad I'm just nervous about my meeting. Sorry." I whisper.

James gave me a shove. "Griffin and Kelly are nothing just look out for Gustavo."

I laughed and took a sip of my tea. "Thanks for the warning."

Dinner's full of the guys talking about hockey and a tour. I only noticed it was over when Carlos stood up. I immediately stood up.

"I'll see you guys later." He said to his friends.

I waved at them. "Bye guys."

I heard a chorus of bye Riley's and the stepped into the elevator. I looked at him and smiled.

"You didn't fuck up." He said gruffly. "Good job."

I rolled my eyes. "Thanks."

Carlos unlocked the door and tugged me into the bedroom we shared. I slipped on a tank top and shorts and climbed into bed.

I feel his tan arms around me. "Night Riley I love you."

I shut my eyes and whimpered. I always wondered if he means it. "I love you too."

Soon the room is quiet and I lie in bed and let the tears I'd been holding back all night fall down my cheeks. This was my life, nothing but hurt, lies and Carlos.

"Welcome to my life." I mumbled before dozing off. "Welcome to my fucked up life."

AN: Well that was chapter 1.. Should I continue? Yes or no. If its yes how can I improve let me know :)


	2. Whatever It Takes

AN: Well I got a yes to continue writing this so here it is. Don't kill me for errors its like 2 am. But here's a new chapter in Carlos' POV. Let me know what you think and tell ur friends to check this out. I accept anonymous reviews!

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><p><strong>Carlos<strong>

I rolled onto my back and let out a loud yawn. I looked to my left and saw that Riley was gone, I sat up and stretched before getting out of bed and putting on jeans in and a tee shirt, I padded down the hallway and went into her living room and saw her with her face in her notebook. I smiled a little she was probably writing a song or something. I cleared my throat.

"Morning Riles." I said as I tried to rid my voice of it's raspy sound.

I watched her jump up. "Morning babe, I thought you'd sleep in I'm sorry. Are you hungry?" She asked quickly as she fumbled to the kitchen. "I can make you something."

"It's cool. Sit down I'm not that hungry anyways." I said with a small smile. "How's your face."

She shrugged her small shoulders and probed her face. "It h-hurts but it's okay."

I bit on my lip as she sat down and picked her notebook back up. "I'm sorry."

"Okay." She rolled her eyes a bit. "Sure you are."

I could feel the anger in my body. I shook it off. "What are you writing?"

"A new song it's been on my mind for a while now. At least I'm trying to. I've had this verse stuck in my mind forever and I'm not too sure though it doesn't really fit anywhere. It feels right but I don't know where to put it." She furrowed her face into an adorable pout. "What do you think?"

I was a little shocked. Riley never let me hear her songs until they were perfect. "For real?"

She flashed me a smile. "Yeah look."

I took the notebook from her hand and looked at it and read it over.

On the first page of our story, the future seemed so bright. Then this thing turned out so evil, I don't know why I'm still surprised, even angels have their wicked schemes and you take that to new extremes, but you'll always be my hero even though you've lost your mind.

I kept reading it over and over again. I felt my stomach turn as I processed the words on the page. This was about me. It had too be right? I looked up her and saw the pain in her face. I stepped towards her and she recoiled.

"This is about me." I stated as I felt my hands shake. "What is t-this is?"

Riley shook her head. "Babe please, I-I'll get rid of it. I just had to get on paper."

I handed it too her and she shut her eyes and her body tensed. I frowned at her. "I'm not gonna touch you chica." I said using my nickname for her.

She opened her eyes and smiled a little. "You're n-not."

I shook my head and took her hand. "Get dressed let's go get something to eat."

She stood up and went down the hall. I picked up her notebook and flipped the pages. I smiled her songs were really good. I flipped the pages and stopped when I saw something. It was a paragraph.

He hates me and I don't know why. I try so hard to be good enough for him but he won't stop. I love him so much but I'm scared he'll go too far and do something terrible. He doesn't mean it I just can't get him to stop. I want him too stop.

I sat the notebook back down and sat on the couch. This is how she felt about me, I hated knowing she was afraid of me. I hated it, I wasn't a bad guy I promise. I just lost it sometimes or got stressed and Riley was the first thing around and I flipped out her. No one else knew that I hit her and they couldn't find out especially not James, Kendall or Logan and Mrs. Knight. Mostly her she would freak out, I had to stop this before I really hurt Riley. I couldn't let her be scared of me.

"Carlos?" Riley asked quietly. "You okay?"

I snapped my head up. "Yeah, let's go."

She smiled and linked her fingers through mine. I took her down in the elevator to the lobby where I saw Kendall and Logan sitting in chairs.

"Hey guys what are you doing?"

Kendall groaned "Waiting for James. We're going to go play some hockey. Want to come?"

"Oh I'm going to go get some breakfast with Riley but we should meet up later."

Logan nodded. "Alright see you guys later."

Riley smiled at my friends. "Bye guys."

I waved to my band mates and Riley and I climbed into her car. I was driving and buckled myself in. Riley was looking at her lap.

"What's wrong Mija?" I asked

Riley pushed her hair from her eyes. "I'm scared."

"Of what?" I asked, feeling myself go stiff.

"It's stupid. Just forget about it." She promised getting out of the car.

"You sure if you're upset you can tell me anything." I whispered. "Anything."

We walked into the café and I pulled out her chair. "I'm just freaked out about us."

"Us, why?"

Riley picked at her nail and looked at me. "You're always accusing me of cheating and what happens when I go on tour?"  
>Shit, she was really that worried? I put on my sweetest smile and leaned over the table. "I know I'm sorry I hurt you last night. It's just that you're so amazing and I can't loose you."<p>

She blushed. "Really?"

I placed my lips on hers and put my hand in her hair. "I promise Riley, I love you."

"I love you too."

I held her hand tightly. We ordered breakfast and made small talk until it came. I watched Riley barely touch her food. I shook my head regretted calling her fat. I picked up her fork and stab a piece of fruit and held it up to her.

"What are you doing?" She laughed.

"You barely eat anything."

She took the fork and swallowed. "Alright."

"How awesome would it be if we got to go on tour together? Big Time Rush and Riley Cavanaugh on tour!" I said as my voice filled with excitement.

Riley grinned. "That'd be amazing we'd get to go to all these amazing places together."

"I hope it happens." I said as I paid the bill.

"Me too."

Riley and I got in the car and I made a turn towards the Palm Woods. I led Riley to the pool and sat her down on a chair and held her hands.

"What's going on Carlos?" She asked looking into my eyes. "Did I do something?"

I quickly shook my head. "No, I did. I'm sorry I've hurt you I don't mean to really."

She looked relieved. "I know you don't mean it. I still love you Carlos."

I beamed at her. "Good because I love you too."

She wrapped her arms around me and I hugged her back. I rubbed her back and held her close. She was special and I had to stop hurting her. No matter what it took I had to stop.

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><p>AN: Well there's the end of chapter 2 it was up fast because I'm excited to write this. Could I get a few more reviews? Anything you want to see. This wasn't violent because I'm saving that for the next chapter. So review so I can update =)<p> 


	3. Slip Up

So you guys rock! You're reviews are so kind. I've decided to do a Riley and Carlos chapter every other chapter most of the time so this chapter kind of explores when Riley has a small slip up and Carlos catches her! Enjoy and review please :D

**Riley**

A week has passed since Carlos told me he wanted to try to stop hurting me. So far he was doing pretty good, he got loud with me a few times but he was back to the Carlos I fell in love with. I now lay in bed staring at the ceiling today was my meeting with Gustavo and Griffin and they wanted to hear my songs. I thought of the verse I wrote last week and showed Carlos. I had finished it and it was really good, it was really personal and it hurt to write it. It was about me and Carlos and how he kept hurting me.

"You still in bed _chica?" _ Carlos smirked at me from the doorway.

I pulled a pillow over my face. "Yeah I'm nervous."

I could feel the bed sink down as he sat next to me. "You're amazing Riles, Gustavo and Griffin wouldn't have signed you if they didn't want you. Just sing like you always do. I'll be in the room if you want."

I shrugged. "I don't know what I'm singing. What you don't like it?"

The pillow was pulled from my face and I saw Carlos' beautiful face looking at mine. "I'll love it. Now get dress."

I sat up and wrapped my arms around his neck. "I love you."'

He pressed his warm lips against mine. "You too."

I got out of bed and went to my closet and pulled on dark jeans and a peach colored tank top and a cardigan. I brushed out my hair and put my makeup on. "Carlos?" I called out.

He came back into the room and looked at me. "Hmm?"

I swallowed hardly, "Can y-you see any bruises or anything?"

He looked at me and then his shoes. "No, let just go."

I linked my fingers through his and we walked down to the garage hand in hand. I smiled at Camille and we walked by.

"Riley! Do you want to hang out later?" Camille grinned as she stopped me.

I looked at Carlos. "Can I?"

He looked annoyed at me. "Y-Yeah why wouldn't you be able to?"

I felt my stomach twist. I shouldn't have asked that in front of Camille. It looked weird and like I had to ask to do thing. I mean Carlos got annoyed when I didn't, but I shouldn't have asked in front of someone.

"Never mind. But do you want to meet at four?'

She nodded looking a little weirded out. "Sure see ya."

I followed Carlos to the studio car and we climbed in back and the panel separating us from the drive was up. "I'm sorry I f-forgot we were in front of people and I knew I had to asked and it just slipped out."

Carlos's eyes looked full of irritation. His hand clenched my wrist. "Don't mess up again."

Nodding quickly, I looked back down. "Okay."

We rode in silence until we reached Roque Records. I started humming to warm up my voice and followed him inside. I started going through the songs I wrote trying to pick one out.

"Riley, it's nice to see you again." Kelly smiled at me.

"Hey Kelly." I waved following her down the hall.

"So Gustavo and Griffin are ready in there are you ready?"

Butterflies were rolling around my stomach. "Yeah I think so."

Kelly nodded. "Be right back."

She shut the door and I turned to Carlos and wrapped my arms around him tightly. "I'm nervous."

He pressed is warm lips against mine and I kissed back. "You'll be fine."

"Okay."

"Riley we're ready for you."

Carlos gave me a thumbs up as I walked into the room. Griffin and Gustavo were sitting in chair in front of a sound booth. I smiled at them and shook their hands.

"Hi, guys. I'm Riley Cavanaugh it's nice to meet you." I said, trying to sound cheerful.

Gustavo shook my hand and looked me over. "What do you think makes you my next superstar."

I remembered what Kelly has taught me last week. "Because, my songs are different, I'm willing to go to hell and back to make a successful album and I'll work hard." I made sure to grin at the end.

"Confidence, I like it." Griffin said nodding at me.

Gustavo squinted at me. "We're going to try something new. I want 3 songs by the end of this month. An emotional angst filled one, an upbeat girl one and a collaboration. If I like all three you're signed on."

Panic filled my body. I wasn't good with upbeat songs at all. I quickly smirked. "I'm up for it."

"When you can start?" Griffin questioned.

I swallowed, he was just in the hall. "I have an emotional song ready I can do it now if you want

"That's what I like to hear. Get in the booth."

I stepped in the small room and took a seat on the stool. I bit my lip and tried to calm myself down as the Kelly, Griffin and Gustavo put on headphones. Gustavo gave me a thumbs up.

My eyes shut and I drew in a deep breath. I couldn't be afraid of him I needed to do this. I opened my eyes and began to sing.

On the first page of our story  
>The future seemed so bright<br>Then this thing turned out so evil  
>I don't know why I'm still surprised<br>Even angels have their wicked schemes  
>And you take that to new extremes<br>But you'll always be my hero  
>Even though you've lost your mind <p>

I couldn't even look at the three adults in front of me. My mind was stuck on Carlos's face when he read the first verse of this last week. He looked so hurt.

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn  
>But that's alright because I like the way it hurts<br>Just gonna stand there and hear me cry  
>But that's alright because I love the way you lie<br>I love the way you lie  
>Ohhh, I love the way you lie <p>

I belted out chorus and watched Gustavo raised his eyebrows and looked at Griffin. Kelly looked impressed and gave me nod and smiled.

Now there's gravel in our voices  
>Glass is shattered from the fight<br>And this tug of war, you'll always win

Even when I'm right  
>'Cause you feed me fables from your hand<br>With violent words and empty threats  
>And it's sick that all these battles<br>Are what keeps me satisfied 

I glanced behind them and saw Carlos standing in the doorway. His face was twisted with anger. He was glaring at me, his eyes were black with rage. My heart stopped in my chest. How long had he been standing there? I fought to sing the chorus. I watched his every move.

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn  
>But that's alright because I like the way it hurts<br>Just gonna stand there and hear me cry  
>But that's alright because I love the way you lie<br>I love the way you lie  
>Ohhh, I love the way you lie<p>

So maybe I'm a masochist  
>I try to run but I don't wanna ever leave<br>Til the walls are goin' up  
>In smoke with all our memories<p>

I repeated the chorus once more and then I looked back up. Gustavo and Griffin were talking but I kept looking at Carlos who was standing in the hall now. His eyes were burning into my chest.

"Riley that was amazing. Did you write that?" Gustavo asked.

I nodded. "Uh huh." 

"If your other songs sound that good I-"

Gustavo's voice faded from my ears as I zoned him out I just kept staring at my boyfriend who continued to glare at me. He was going to flip out on me when we were alone. I stopped the tears from building up and pretended to listen to Gustavo

"We'll be in touch by tomorrow." Griffin said to me.

I nodded and stepped out of the both and smiled at them. "Thanks, bye guys."

Kelly waved at me. "Riley that was amazing."

"Aw, thanks bye Kelly."

My body felt sluggish as I forced myself into the hallway, where he was standing. He looked tense and angry. His hands were clenched in fist.

"What the _fuck _was that?" He hissed at me.

"Carlos I-"

He pushed me into the car. "What lied to me you said you got rid of the song! 

"I did but then I started writing it again."

His hand flew across my cheek. "Just shut up until he get back to the Palmwoods."

I shut my mouth and winced as I touched my face. We got there sooner then I thought we would. He forced me into the elevator and then pushed down the hall into my apartment.

"Unlock the door."

My hands shook as I opened the door. I turned around looked into his eyes. "Please d-don't."

He pushed me inside and slammed the door. I backed away from his slowly. Tears were already falling down my face.

"You're so fucking stupid Riley. Do you know what would happen if they found out that was about me? They'd fire me and send me back home!"

I looked at my shoes. "S-Sorry."

He pinned me to the floor and he slapped me again. "You better be."

I shut my eyes and nodded. I could tell he was only getting started.

AN: *gasp* Carlos is going to hurt Riley really bad! What did you think of this chapter. I'll update sooner maybe Tuesday! Also the song is Love The Way You Lie Part 2 by Rhianna but look up the Skylar Grey (Gray) version that's how I imagined her voice


	4. In Charge

**Carlos**

I was seeing red, completely overtaken by my anger. How the fuck could Riley finish that song and then play it for people? I slammed the door shut behind me and she stood in front of me. I could see her body shaking. I stepped closer to her and grabbed her wrists and pulled her closer. She struggled and I could see her crying.

"You are so fucking stupid Riley!" I bellowed. "You know that? You're nothing but a stupid little bitch." I slammed her body to the floor.

"C-Carlos stop. You're hurting me. Please just let me go!" She sobbed "Stop!"

I pinned her down pressed my hand to her mouth. "I'm just helping you write another amazing song." I sneered as the sarcasm ooze from my voice.

I felt my fists make contact with her face. I heard her scream but I didn't care I had to show her I was in charge. I punched her again and smirked as blood came from her lip. That would shut her up.

"What am I just going to stand there and hear you cry?" I taunted her as I pressed my hands against her throat.

"You like this, you wouldn't be here if you didn't."

She was hysterically sobbing and she kept begging me to stop. I shut my eyes and thought about her song, it was so obvious she wrote it about me. Anger coursed through me again. I put my face inches away from hers and stared at her.

"If you ever write another song about me like that again I'll break your scrawny little neck." I hissed at her.

Her cries stopped and she looked horrified and then she started screaming at me. "Carlos you're an asshole you beat up your girlfriend and tell her she's fat! What if we have kids someday? Then what? You going to knock them around too? You're worthless!"

I bit my lip and took a breath before I stood her up and slammed her into the wall.

"Don't ever speak to me like that!" I bashed her face against the wall and she fell to the ground. I got on top of her and pinned her down.

Her eyes widened with terror. "Carlos, don't please." I shook my head and stared right into her eyes. "You're worthless you couldn't live without me. You hear me?" Her eyes were shut. I shook her. "I said did you hear me?" I yelled in her ear.

"Ye-Yes." She winced and touched her face which was bloody.

I spat in her face before standing. I turned around and went to the door. I stood there collecting my thoughts before turning around. I couldn't help it. My foot made contact with her stomach four times. I knelt down and pulled her head up by her hair.

"I wouldn't have to discipline you if you weren't such a fucking idiot. This is your fault." I opened the door after dropping her. "I'm going out! So help me if you move from that spot Riley!" I threatened. She whimpered and I chuckled to myself as I shut the door.

I walked down the brightly lit hallway and stepped into the elevator and took in some deep breaths and ran my hand down my face. That was horrible, I beat the shit out of her. I had to though she fucking outed me in front of my bosses. The door slid opened and I strolled down the hall and walked into 2J. Logan and Kendall were playing a video games and James was looking in the mirror.

"Hey guys." I said, I was little out of breath as my adrenaline from my fight wore off.

James immediately looked at me and smirked. "Out of breath, sweating and smug look? Did our little Carlitos get it on?"

I rolled my eyes and looked at my shoes. "Shut up James."

I walked over to the living room and plopped down on the couch next to Kendall. He had paused the game and James had the same smirk on his face.

"Did you do it?" Kendall pressed.

I rolled my eyes again. "_No Kendall I beat the fucking crap out of my girlfriend because she wrote about me hitting her. _" I thought bitterly as I shook my head and forced a smile.

"Nah, she's a prude."

Logan slapped me on the back. "She'll come around."

I pushed myself off the couch and looked around. "Are your mom and sister home?"

Kendall shook his head. "They went to San Francisco to visit my aunt or something they won't be back until tomorrow."

"Good." I sighed as I went to the kitchen and pulled out the old bottle Vodka I knew Mrs. Knight stashed under the sink. I grabbed a glass and filled it to the brim. "I need to relax."

My three best friends furrowed their eyebrows at me. I ignored them and took a large sip. I turned my back to them and inhaled deeply. I was still angry as hell and could feel it controlling me.

"You okay man?"

I clenched my fists tightly and took another sip. "Riley's being a bitch that's all."

"Is she? What's going on?" Logan asked as he scooted over so I could sit." 

I rolled my eyes. "She's just bitching about me being rude to her. It's like I would have to be rude if you weren't whining about everything I do."

James shifted in his seat and Logan bit his lip. I groaned and finished off my glass and refilled it once more. I could feel a slight buzz coming on already. I shut my eyes and let the alcohol calm down my nerves. After a few more drinks and some pizza and a movie, my buzz had worn off. I stood up and yawned.

"I'm gonna go see in Riley calmeddownyet." I slurred my last few years.

The guys waved at me and closed the door. I stumbled down the hall and into the elevator. The ride was quick and I went across the hall and shoved the door open and looked around. There she was laying on floor where I left her. I grumbled to myself as I walked over to her, I couldn't leave her there. I scooped her up and looked at her face. It was swollen in places and covered in blood.

Her eyes shot open and she started whimpering when she saw me. "Carlos?" She choked out.

I carried her into our room and dropped her on the bed. "Go to bed."

She mumbled something in coherent and curled up in fetal position. I took of my pants and laid next to her. I stared at her saw her bruises and blood and felt a twisted sense of satisfaction. I was in charge and she knew it. I was in charge and I liked it.

AN: Carlos sure can be a monster! What'll happen tomorrow? Please review guys!

And again sadly I own nothing


	5. Aftermath

AN: You're reviews are so sweet! All of them make me smile =) thanks for that here's a new chapter I hope you enjoy.

**Riley**

I'm awakened by a familiar pain deep in my stomach and throbbing in my face. I lift my head of my pillow and see that it's 10 in the morning. I roll out of bed and wince at the pain. Slowly I drag myself to the bathroom mirror and feel sick at the sight. The right side of my face is swollen and my right eye is so swollen I can a barely open it. My hands gently touch my bruised my face and it hurts immediately. There's dried blood under my lip and on my face. I lift up my shirt and feel my stomach churn at the sight of the ugly splotches where Carlos buried his shoe into my stomach. I notice little spots of blood where his foot actually touched me.

"Oh god." I whispered to myself as I wiped the dry blood from my face. "It's not going to happen again. He'll stop." I told myself.

I looked in the mirror and saw how disgusting I looked. I was ugly, my face looked horrible. I fixed my hair and knew there was no way I could leave the house for a few days. I walked into the kitchen and pressed an ice pack to my face.

"You're finally up." He was laughing as he wrapped his arm around me. "How are you?"

I turned around and glared at him. "What do you think?"

He cringed as he looked over my face. "Damn Riley you must have walked into the door pretty hard last night."

I could see a slight smirk twitch on his lips. "You know how clumsy I a-am."

"Don't go out today.' He warned, his eyes were full of threats.

I nodded and winced as I touch my stomach. "Ok-okay."

Carlos sat me down in the living room and rubbed my back. I tried to focus on the movie he was watching but the pain in my face brought tears to my eyes. It felt like someone cracked my face open. I looked at Carlos; he was acting like nothing ever happened. I rolled my eyes.

"Carlos?"

He looked over at me. "What the hell are you crying for?"

"Everything h-hurts and you're acting like nothing happened."

He sighed. "Because nothing did and if you tell anyone that anything did happen, you'll regret. But don't worry because I didn't do anything. Right?" He hissed at me and smirked.

"Yeah n-nothing happened that's why everything's throbbing and my whole body hurts and you got wasted last night!"

Carlos sprung up and shoved me down onto the couch and pinned me down. "That's because you deserved it you little bitch."

"No I didn't. I j-just wrote a song that's all I did." I whispered. "Just let me g-go."

He slapped me and I winced. "Shut up Riley just shut the hell up."

I pushed him away and went down the hallway and locked the bedroom door. The door vibrated from the pounding. "Damn it Riley let me in."

I tucked my chin into my knees. "You're going to hurt me."

There was silence and then the doorknob began shake a little. He opened the door and I shut my eyes. He picked the lock. "You can't keep me out forever."

"I don't want to be with you a-anymore. I'm tired of being with you."

Carlos yanked me up by my arm. "The fuck you're not."

I scratched his face and pounded my fists against his chest. "Why would I stay with you? Do you even l-love me!"

He looked like he was going to strangle me but his face softened. "You k-know that I love you."

"No you d-don't!"

He touched my face. "Why would you even say something like that?"

"You _beat _me. I can't open my right eye and I can barely walk. I've afraid to sleep because I keep thinking you'll go nuts and kill me or something! I have to lie to Camille about why we can't hang out. I'm tired of your bullshit Carlos."

Carlos sighed and stroked my hair. "I'm sorry Riley." He pulled me close. "I'm so fucking sorry."

I stared at him and saw that his eyes were watering. "Are you?"

He nodded and kissed my forehead. "Yeah I'm sorry I really am."

I hugged him tightly and we stood there in silence before I pulled back a few seconds later. "Will you please stop hurting me?"

Carlos nodded. "I'll try for you chica, I'll try."

I smiled a little and kissed him. "Thank you."

"I'm sorry about your face. I was just so angry." He murmured in my ear. "You're just so amazing I don't think I could deal with loosing you."

My mind kept telling me to not believe him but I ignored it and kissed him again. "I love you."

"I love you too." He said brushing my hair out of my eyes. "I swear that I do."

Carlos hugged me and kept whispering things in my ear. Like how he loved me and that he was going to change. All the while I kept feeling my stomach ache whenever I inhaled.

"Baby?"

I looked over at Carlos. "Hmm?"

"I have to go do some vocals for Gustavo. Just stay here I'll be back soon."

Frowning slightly I gave him a nod. "Okay see you later."

He waved and dashed out the door. I laid in bed and sighed to myself. He seemed sorry but he said he was a thousand times before. I shut my eyes and thought about the first time he hit me.

_It was about 2 months after we started dating. We had just left a party at the studio, the guys were celebrating the completion of their first album. Carlos had been drinking with James, Logan and Kendall. I had helped him into my apartment he collapsed on my couch and was playing with my hair._

_"You are so hot Riley." He slurred, his breath reeked of cheap beer. "You're so fucking good looking."_

_I rolled my eyes. "You are so drunk Carlos." I mocked him with a smirk. "So fucking drunk."_

_He leaned over and kissed me full on and dug his fingers into my hair. I kissed him back and smiled to myself. I froze when I felt his cold hands undo the button of my jeans. I pulled back and saw him frowning at me._

_"C'mon Riles." He moaned. "Live a little._

_I shook my head. "No I don't want to do anything."_

_He was fidgeting with his zipper. "But I need it.' He whined._

_I rolled my eyes. "No you don't."_

_His hand grazed my face with a smack. "I'm g-going home, call me when you're not a bitch."_

_I sat there in shock as he drunkenly left my apartment._

I shook off the memory and bit my lip. My face throbbed just thinking about that night. I touched my cheek and groaned. I really hoped he wasn't lying about changing.

"I hope really you change Carlos." I thought grimly. "I really hope so."

AN: So, Riley's torn up and Carlos says he'll change. Do you think he will? One of the guys will find out about Riley and Carlos soon who should it be? Please review you guys are so sweet =)


	6. He Went To Far

You Guys! I didn't forget this story! We moved and the AT&T guys are fucking assholes and didn't come for 3 months I'm sorry here's a new chapter. Please reveiw I'll be updating reguarly. Also we find the BTR boy who"ll help Riley! WARNING COTAIN SENSITIVE SUBJECTS

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><p>"No Camille, I'm n-not avoiding you I'm busy I'm sorry." I said desperately.<p>

"Ever since you and Carlos got serious you've blown me off."

I shook my head. "It's complicated."

She scoffed "Yeah complicated what he's doing? Locking you in your apartment?"

I tensed "No I just can't hang out today."

"Whatever." She hung up and I set my on the table and rolled my eyes.

I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bag of peas out of the freezer and pressed it to my face. I winced at the pain in my cheek, the swelling on my face hadn't gone down yet. I walked back into my room and thought about my relationship with Carlos, he was the sweetest guy around when he wanted to be but I'd piss him off. I loved him I was sure of it I just wanted him to love me back. I felt tears prick my eyes as I thought about last night. I really thought he'd kill me. He looked so angry.

"Babe I'm home!" I flinched at his voice and held the peas closer to my face. "What you crying for chica?"

I looked up and wiped my eyes. "Nothing j-just my face."

He sat next to me and kissed my lips. "How was recording?"

He shrugged. "Lame as fuck. James kept bitching I wanted to go there shut him up myself."

I felt uneasy "O-oh."

Carlos brushed my bangs from my eyes and cringed. "Fuck Riles, that looks bad."

I scooted away from him. "Well that's happens when your boyfriend has anger issues." I muttered under my breath.

Carlos rolled him russet colored eyes. "Someone's bitchy."

I laid back in bed and sighed. "I'm laying down for a while."

He smirked. "Maybe I should too."

I rolled onto my side. "Just go away."

He chuckled and his arms slipped around my waist. "I don't think so Riles." I turned around looked at him. "I missed you." I smelt alcohol on his breath.

I squirmed at his warm breath. "Carlos I love you but please just go away!" I begged as I tried to free myself from his grip. "Please."

Carlos turned my face towards his. "Maybe I think you owe me for that song"

I rolled my eyes. "What do you want? To beat me some more?"

He furrowed his eyebrows. "Nope, this." He pressed his mouth against mine.

I kissed back and tried to pull back but I felt Carlos hold me down. "Very funny seriously let me up."

Carlos's playful smirk was replaced with a dangerous one. I squirmed underneath him, his hands pressed into shoulders and his knees into thighs.

"Let me up." I demanded. "Now."

He didn't speak he just pressed his lips to my neck and his slipped down to the zipper on my pants.

"Carlos?" I whimpered as my lips shook. "Stop!"

I began trembling as he pushed down the waistband of my pants. "C-Carlos no!"

He smirked at me. "But I love you Riley. Let's just do it."

I tried to wiggle out from underneath him. "Just let me up. I love you too but I don't want too."

Carlos rolled his eyes but pushed me down and pressed his hips into mine. "No! Just let me do it real quick it won't hurt I promise."

"I said no!" I shouted at him. "Just shut up." His hand traveled across my face and he quickly threw in pants onto floor.

I felt tears sting my eyes. "Don't please. I'm not even on anything."

Carlos rolled his eyes and dug around the drawer. I quickly got off the bed and made it too the door. Carlos turned around and came after me and pulled me back to our bed. He pulled my pants off and began crying hysterically.

"NO! I'm begging you just let me up."

Carlos sucked my neck and I felt him ran a hand through my hair. "Love you Ri."

I continued shaking as he looked over my face. He had a huge smirk on his face and his eyes were dark and threatening.

"Carlos no." I whispered. "Please."

Carlos pinned me down and kissed me. "Nope."

I shook my head as pulled his condom on.

"I want my first time to be special!"

Carlos rolled his eyes and pushed his hand onto my mouth. I shut my eyes and cried out, he shoved himself in and pulled out over and over again.

"I love you so damn much Riley."

I felt sobs come out of my mouth. "I hate y-you."

Carlos clearly didn't hear me because his eyes were shut tight and he looked content. I soon felt him pull out and I watched him pull of the condom off.

"I love you so much." He whispered as he looked at me. "Get dressed." I felt him yank me. "Get out of here."

I slipped my pants on and winced at the soreness I felt. My body was shaking with sobs. Carlos shoved me out of the room.

He shoved me against the wall. "If you tell anyone what I did I will kill you.. Don't even doubt me."

"I won't just let me go." I cried as I wiped my eyes.

"Fine." He hissed but you're not coming back until I want you." He threw my phone at me.

I felt him shove further me out the door and into the hallway. The door clicked behind me and I tried open. He locked me out. I forced myself into the elevator and went to the second floor. I made it out into the hallway and saw 2J and I felt stomach turn I couldn't go in with him best friends, I decided to sit next to the door until Carlos wanted me. I shut my eyes and let tears overflow onto my face. I was  
>sniffling so loud I didn't even notice him when the door opened and he knelt in front of me.<p>

"Riley?" He asked softly. "What's wrong?"

I opened my eyes and saw his dark brown spikes and his eyebrows furrowed with worry.

"N-nothing Carlos and I had a fight." I winced when he wrapped and arm too tightly around my bruised stomach. "Logan no, I don't want anyone too see me like this."

He pulled me up and he lead me to the door. "It's just me no one's home." He whispered. "C'mon."

I shuffled along him after deciding it was better than sitting here in the hall alone and he sat me on the kitchen counter.

"Here's a box of tissue." He whispered.

"Thanks." I blew my nose with one and wiped my face with another.

"What happened?"

I shook my head. "We had a fight and he locked me out."

"Why? What we're you fighting about?"

"Nothing." I lied as my stomach churned.

"Riley you're a mess." He whispered as put his hand under my chin. He his fingers brushed my neck and I jumped off the counter and stared at him. He looked confused until he saw my face and then he looked sick.

"Oh my god. Riley is this- what happened."

I touched my face. "I fell."

He rolled his eyes "Yeah onto what Carlos's fists?" Logan asked as he looked over my face. "Can you even open this eye?"

I shook my head. "Logan I have too go."

"Riley are you kidding me he did this too you and you're going back? He locked you out anyways."

I looked down. "Don't tell! Please you'll make it worse Logan."

He shook head. "I won't. At least stay the night. So he can relax."

I nodded. "Can I shower?"

Logan nodded and pointed to the bathroom. I locked the door and turned the hot water on. I didn't take my clothes off. I stepped into the hot spray and scrubbed my exposed skin raw trying to get rid of his scent. I took off my wet clothes and rung them out and wrapped a towel around my hips so I could look at my ribs and belly. My ribs were bruised and so tender to the touch I was more than convinced I broke some. My belly was just as bruised and I looked like I hadn't eaten for days. It ached with hunger and throbbed with bruises.

"Here Riley I brought - Did he kick you?" He exclaimed as I covered my as I covered my chest."Forget it. Here these are mine."

I smiled slightly as my stomach growled and my hunger pains cut into my sides.

"You hungry?"

I shook my head and ignored the pains. "No." I sat down and pulled on his shirt.

Logan shut the door and I slipped on my pants. "Logan?" I choked as I opened the door.

"You okay?"

I collapsed on the couch. "I should go."

Logan looked sick. "Are you kidding me?" He touched my cheek. "You're hurt you can't go."

"I don't have much of a choice." I whispered, hoarsely.

Logan frowned. "You can leave him. You know that right?"

I rolled my eyes. "I can't just leave him. He lives with me, we live in the same building and he and I record as the same studio. Besides it's not his fault, I screw up and it not a big deal."

Logan's jaw dropped a little. "N-not a big deal? He beat you up Riley."

I scooted away from him. "I don't want to talk about it anymore. I love him."

He sighed and nodded. He looked upset and disappointed. "Fine. Have it your way." He stood up. "You want to sleep here tonight it's already 9."

I nodded. "Yeah what about everyone else." He shrugged. "I sleep alone I use to share with Carlos his bed's still in there."

I went to speak but my face throbbed and I inhaled sharply. "Here" Logan threw me an ice pack. "Come on."

I shuffled behind Logan down the hall and into the back bedroom of 2J. It was navy blue and Logan's bed was white and Carlos's was green. I sat on Logan's bed, I could still feel Carlos on my and I didn't thinking sitting on his bed would help.I was trying to block out what Carlos did to me a few minutes ago. Logan knelt in front me after shutting the door. He gently touched me face, he was soft unlike Carlos who savagely beat in my face.

"What hurts the worse."

My lips were chapped. "My throat and face."

He touched my under eye and I jumped back and cried out.

"I'm sorry! I think it's just bruised. Here" He dabbed some cream on the cuts on my face and help and icepack to my cheek. The cold felt good on my burning flesh. "Here take one of these and drink some water."

He pushed some Advil and water into my hands. I popped 2 pills into my mouth and downed the water.

"Can I look at your ribs?"

I sighed. "Don't l-laugh at them."

Logan looked uneasy. "Just let me see." He pulled the hem of his shirt up to chest and I held the shirt close. He gasped, there were several clusters of bruises and jagged bumps and my sides.

"Jesus, I think he broke some ribs. You need to go to the ER."

"No! Logan if he finds out I told you he freak out but if I go to the ER he'll be even worse!"

Logan frowned and looked over my swollen face. "You're hurt. You need a doctor, and you need to get help."

I shook my head and touched my side. "I love him and we're happy you don't get it." I said quickly.

"Maybe I don't get it. But you're hurt and need a doctor."

I shook my head. "N-no can I just sleep here tonight I'm scared to go home."

"Of course. Are you hungry or anything?"

"No." I whispered wiping my eyes dry.

"Are you sure?"

I nodded quickly. "Yeah."

Logan sat next to my and I wrapped myself around him. I felt a sob come out of my mouth.

"I love him Logan but he hurts me."

Logan shushed me. "I know. It's not your fault." I shuddered as more tear fell down my cheeks. "Riley? Is it okay if I tell James or Kendall? They'll help."

I stiffened. "Not Kendall! Carlos says he always wants to do the right thing and he'll get in trouble."

"I'll tell James."

I sniffled and nodded. I grabbed my phone from his table and looked at my inbox. "Carlos won't text me."

"Maybe that's a good thing." I rolled my eyes and yawned. I tensed when I heard the door open. "Its just James or Kendall."

I nodded pulled myself closer to Logan's body. "Are you sure?"

He nodded and gently pushed me off. "Stay here okay? I'll be right back."

I nodded and sunk down under the covers of Logan's bed as he walked out. I laid in silence as I listened to his voice. It was James and Logan talking.

"Where is she?" James asked softly.

"My room but she looks tired and is really freaked out I touched her neck and she flipped out."

"I'm going to pound his face in so hard."

My stomach turned at the thought of Carlos getting hurt.

"She really likes him and she denied it at first when I asked her."

"He's doing this again?" James yelled.

My heart stopped. Again? He's done this before?

"Yeah. Just don't let anyone know she's here he kicked her out. Don't tell Kendall yet."

They mumbled to each other and the door opened. I felt the bed sink down as Logan sat next to me, I wrapped my arms around him and he pushed my hair from my face.

"It's gonna be okay I promise." Logan mumbled. "He's not gonna hurt you, it'll be okay. I promise."

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><p>So it's Logan who'll help her. What do you of what Carlos did? Could someone make me a banner :) PLEASE! Reveiws are loved<p> 


	7. Maybe I Need Him

AN:I'm so sorry I neglected this story I was busy and wrapped up inAmy newstories and work and 10th grade, but here's a new chapter I hope you enjoy.

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><p>"Riley?" He whispered. "Riley get up."<p>

My eyes shot open and I saw a blurry figure overhead. "No! Don't touch me please!"

"It's Logan you're okay I need to talk to you."

I looked around and yawn. "It's early."

He nodded. "I know, James and I need to talk to you."

I rubbed my eyes gently and winced at the bursies. "N-No Logan."

"He won't hurt you tell please, he wants to help."

James slowly walked in and waved. I wrapped my blanket around myself. James looked at me then Logan and frowned.

"It's worse than Abigail."

"I know." Logan argged. "He said he'd stop."

I felt my lips tremble. "W-Who?"

The two boys sighed. "Carlos abused his old girlfriend too." James admitted. "It was before we came here. He'd beat her."

My heart dropped into my stomach. He did this to someone else. "Was it bad?"

Logan bit his lip and frowned. "She was with him for 4 months before she left him. It was bad he'd stalk her and harass her. One night we were all going over there to celebrate because we won a tournament and we had a party and Kendall walked in on him punching her." Logan whispered.

"She told us he did because he was stressed." James added. "She wanted out and we beat the shit out of Carlos, she transferred a week later. We still talk sometimes but she's depressed."

I felt tears cut into my cheeks. "How c-can he do this? I love him, and he does this in return? I love him." I cried into Logan's shirt.

James smoothed my hair down. "You need to leave him. He's bad for you."

I shook my head. "No I love h-him and he loves me."

They shook their heads. "Riley." Logan pleaded. "He kicked you out and look at your face. You need to leave Carlos."

"I can't do it. We live together, we work at the same place no. Were having a rough spot."

James scoffed. "So? Riley he beats you, it'll only get worse Abigail said he tried to rape her."

I inhaled sharply and let tears slide down my face. "He doesn't mean it. I just can't be a good girlfriend so he disciplines me."

"No Riley he's abusing you! Christ just look at your face that's him being an asshole-" James was cut off when there was pounding on the door.

Logan stood up and went to answer it. I bit my lip and tried to breathe normally again.

"Carlos? Hey what's up?"

I froze and clenched James' hand.

"Have you seen Riley we had a fight and she left. She won't answer her phone and I'm worried."

I opened my mouth to call for him but James put his hand over my mouth.

"No did you check Camille's?"

I whimpered into James' hand as he shushed me. He shook his head and looked at the door.

"So what did you guys fight about?" Logan asked trying to sound innocent.

Carlos laughed nervously. "Just some shit, nothing major. I'm just worried she isn't answering or at home."

"I'll keep an eye out for her."

Carlos mumbled his thanks and slammed the door behind him. I turned to James and shoved him away and grabbed my phone.

"What the hell? He's worried and you let him leave!?"

James rolled his eyes. "If you go back he'll hurt you!"

Tears streaked my face and I sighed. "Maybe I don't care, m-maybe I need him. I love him and he loves me."

James groaned. "Please Riley, look at yourself he beats you."

I stood from the bed and sighed. "No shit Sherlock. I'm trying to leave him but I need a plan first."

James bit his lip and touched my face. "You deserve better than fucking Carlos."

"I know but I love him."

Logan was standing at the door and he frowned. "Why?"

"He's sweet and he's funny. I know he's a jerk but he makes me feel good when he's not hurting me."

"Yeah and which happens more?" Logan hissed and then scoffed when I was silent. "Thought so."

"Logan please, you don't understand us. I really care about him he loves me."

"No he doesn't he came over the other night and got wasted and bitched about you."

I froze and remember how he came home and smelt like vodka and how he beat me up. I inhaled sharply and put my hand on my stomach where he kicked me. "He b-beat me that night."

James frowned and hugged me tightly. "W-Why?"

I looked at my socks and frowned. "I wrote a song about him and he got mad when I sang it for Gustavo, Kelly and Griffin."

"See! You wrote a song and he beat you he's insane Riley I mean why dont you see that?" Logan cried as he ran a hand through his hair.

"He loves me that's why."

Logan shook his head and hugged me. "I know but he needs help."

"Sometimes I wonder if he really loves me."

"He probably does but he hurts you and tries to control you." James pointed put as he fluffed his hair. "We don't want him to hurt you."

I sighed and bit my lip. "He already d-does."

Logan stroked my bruised cheek and shook his head. "What if he kills you? I can see those bruises on your neck."

"He wouldn't do that though! Look I don't like what he does I deserved it!" I screamed at I shook up and picked up my own clothes and shoes. "I deserve this!"

"And why's that?"

I looked down and tears fell down my face. "I wouldn't agree with him so he took it into his own hands and shoved me."

James went to speak but my phone buzzed. I glanced at the screen it was Carlos, I quickly answered and hoped he'd be nice.

"Hello?" I whispered meekly.

"Babe thank god are you okay?" He actually sounded relieved. "I'm so sorry about that night it was out of line just please come home."

"I-I'm fine I uh just needed time to think so I got a cab and crashed at a motel."

Carlos exhaled. "I will never do that to you again."

Logan's jaw was tense and James was biting his lip. "Really?"

"Of course I love you I'm sorry baby."

I shook my head. "Um I'll be there soon."

"Good see you soon."

I hung up and James glared at me. "You're going back!"

I flinched at his tone and he immediately softened. "Yeah."

"You can't."

I put my clothes back on and grabbed my phone. I walked up to James and Logan, I kissed Logan's cheek and when I went to peck James' he touched my black eye.

"You can leave him."

I kissed his cheek and smiled a little. "Yeah and maybe one day I will, but right now I can't."

I shut the door behind me and stepped into the elevator. He was right but for now I had to stay, I didn't have a choice.

"Carlos?" I whimpered as I walked inside, the apartment still smelt like his cologne.

There was no reply from him as I looked around and found our apartment to be empty. I walked into the bathroom and jumped in the shower, I tried to let the warm water soothe my bruised body and calm the butterflies in my stomach. Once I got dressed a towel dried my hair and put a little eyeliner on when the door open.

"Carlos?" I asked softly as I stepped into the living room.

Carlos grinned at me and wrapped me in his arms and kissed me, I fit into his arms and inhaled his scent. "Baby I missed you."

"I missed you too."

Carlos shoved a bouquet of flowers into my hands, he stroked my cheek. "I will never do anything like I did last night. Okay?"

I looked into his eyes and he didn't waver I gulped and thought of James' words. I ignored the thought and kissed him.

"I'm never going to leave you." I whispered into his ear even though I was terrified to say that. "I'll stay with you forever."

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><p>AN: Riley's so trapped : Should she listen to James and Logan? Reviews are appreciate d I'll update soon! I swear.


	8. Confused and Conflicted

AN:I'm so sorry I neglected this story this is probably full of typos and errors but I woke up at like 3 am and wrote this in like and hour. Riley goes home and Carlos says he's changed I hope you enjoy

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><p>"I'm sorry baby." He whispered as he stroked my hair. "I want you to be with me, and I hope forgive me."<p>

I shuddered at his touched and kicked the covers back and looked at the crimson smear on my sheets that reminded me what he had done. "I need time. I will but you took that from me and I need time to heal."

He pinched my hips causing me to wince. "Fair enough."

I squirmed in his arms. "Let go of m-me."

"What's wrong?"

For the first time in the past twelve hours the realization hit me, he forced me to do that. "I'm scared of you."

"Why?" He sounded clueless but he smirked at me.

"You raped me." Tears began to fall down my face. "I didn't want to and you made me. You're supposed to love me and protect me but you did what you did."

Carlos cringed at my words and kissed me. "I'm so sorry I really am."

"Yeah because you're always sorry for beating me up." I spat as I pushed him away.

"Hey now." He growled as his arms encircled my waist even tighter. "You know I don't like it when youre bitchy."

"And I don't like being afraid of you all the time."

Carlos sighed and sat me down. "Baby I love you, I'm really sorry. I just want you so bad. It'll never happen again just stay with me."

"Promise it won't happen again?"

He said he was sorry and he sounded sorry but he looked like he wanted to kill me. "Yeah I promise."

He didn't even look at me when he said that, I frowned and touched his arm. "Look at me and say it."

He shoved me off him and groaned. "God shut up! Maybe I will hit you if you don't leave me alone."

I flinched at his tone and stood up from the couch. I walked out of the room and into the kitchen and found the bottle of liquor I knew Carlos kept in my apartment. I poured a glass and downed it.

"Riley what are you doing?"

I refilled it and took it to the head and felt the warmth rush down into my belly. "Drinking you do it all the time."

He smirked his adorable smirk and poured a glass and sipped it. "I love you."

I smiled stupidly, I was a lightweight. "I love you too."

Carlos leaned over and kissed me fully on the mouth and grabbed my hand. I kissed back and and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"I love you so much, I want you." He whispered in my ear as he pulled back from the kiss. "Please."

Drunk or not I still remembered last night. "Not tonight, do you love me."

"Yeah baby, I do and you love me. We're sick and twisted but we go together."

I winced as he ran his fingers over my busted, swollen lip. James' words echoed through my head, 'You deserve so much better than fucking Carlos.' I ignored it and smiled at him.

"We do."

He kissed me and led me to the couch. "Love you."

I sunk into the cushions and sighed. "You too."

He ran his hand over my bruised face and looked sick to his stomach. "I'm sorry you just can't leave me okay? I'd die without you chica, I need you."

Tears pooled in my eyes. "I need you too."

"I know you're tired of me beating you and I'm sorry it's just I've been under stress Griffin and Gustavo want this album to be good and I'm tired but this was the last time."

"Carlos, I don't know I mean maybe we need some time apart."

He instantly perked up. "No! I need you if you leave I'll die!"

"Then prove that you want to be with me!" I shouted, feeling months worth of anger rising. "Show me you deserve me after all your bullshit!"

I flinched when Carlos lunged at me and waited for the pain to ripple through my face. Instead I felt his mouth crash into mine. His fingers tangled into my hair and my knees weakened.

"I want you everyday until I die. Riley I love you and I want you to be with me forever."

"Swear?"

His brown eyes were tearing up. "I s-swear. Go to bed and don't come out until I get back."

"Okay but where are you-"

"It's a surprise just trust me."

I walked into our room and waited until I heard the door close to pull out my phone which had been buzzing since I got home.

Are you okay? - Logan

Is he mad are you hurt? - James

Hey, James and I don't know if you're hurt or need help so call us! - Logan

I sighed, going over there was a mistake. I called James and could hear the worry in his voice when he answered. "Riley are you okay?"

"F-fine. I'm okay."

"Has he said anything to you yet?"

I twisted my hair around my fingers. "We got had a few drinks, he said he was sorry and said if I ever left him he'd die. I love him but I'm scared of him James." I choked out the last part.

"He's hurt you once he'll do it again." I heard Logan voice mumble in the background. "You can come back if you want."

"I can't he'll be back soon." I sighed, even though I'd much rather go back with James and Logan I belonged to Carlos. "I wish could though."

James sounded weak. "What if he hurts you again?"

"Then I'll deal with it, he makes it's sound like if I leave he'll hurt himself and that can't happen."

"He deserves it after hurting you so much." Logan sounded pissed off. "You can't keep doing this."

"Look, just forget last night. Both of you can just pretend you never saw the bruises or heard me say anything about this and thins can go back to normal okay?"

"This isn't normal!" James shouted at me. "He hurts you and he'll probably kill you!"

"I don't care, I have to go." I whispered as I hung up.

I had hung up just in time because I heard the door open and shut and Carlos called out my name.

"Yeah?" I asked timidly as I stepped out into the room.

Carlos turned around with a bouquet of pink flowers in his hand. "These are for you, to say I'm sorry and that I'm done hurting you."

"Really?" I said softly as tears fell down my cheeks. "You've changed?"

"I have chica, I have. I'm a different Carlos Garcia and someday I want you to be Mrs. Riley Garcia and one day after that we'll have kids and we'll be h-happy and we'll forget all about this."

I bit my lip and whimpered. "I want all those things too."

Carlos strokes my cheek and state into my eyes with his deep amber colored ones. "I'm a different now baby just stop screwing up and we'll be happy."

His voice was sweet and silky but there was still and edge to it. But when his mouth met mine I didn't care, he was in control and that's exactly what I needed.

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><p>AN: Carlos is still being threatening but he talked about wanting to marry Riley and have kids, meanwhile Riley wants to leave him but at the same time she wants to stay. What should she do? I hope you enjoyed!<p> 


	9. I Support You

AN; Sorry I took forever, I've been super busy, but I hope you enjoy!

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><p>I stared at the ceiling and was confused for a few minutes before I realized what was wrong, my face didn't hurt. There was no throbbing ache in my ribs and no swollen eyes to pry open. I got up and went into the bathroom after grabbing my clothes from the closet. My face was bruise free and nothing was swollen, I smiled at little, I was myself.<p>

"Babe?"

I turned around. "In here!"

Carlos walked into the bathroom and wrapped his arms around my waist. "You look happy."

"Look, I'm bruise free."

He kissed me and ran a hand through my hair. "Of course you are."

"Are you recording today?" I mumbled into his ear as I kissed up and down his neck.

"Mmhmm, want to come with me?"

I briefly thought about Logan and James but decided they'd be over it by now. "Sure."

"Awesome, ten minutes?"

I nodded and shut the door. I scrubbed my face, happy that I could finally do it without wincing. I brushed my teeth and pulled hair into a bun.

"You almost ready?"

I opened the door, pulling on my shirt. "Yeah, meet you down there."

He pecked my lips and walked to the door, once I heard it slam I grabbed my phone and slipped on my shoes. I stepped into the elevator and smiled when I saw Logan.

"Hey."

He looked up from his book. "Oh hey, you look better."

"It's been a week and he hasn't hit me."

Logan touched my cheek and raised an eyebrow. "So you're still with him?"

I rolled my eyes, I had really been hoping he had let it go. "Yeah and I'm happy."

The doors slid open and he let me go first before replying with a sarcastic. "Good for you."

I shook my head and took Carlos' hand. "So you want to help me with my 'upbeat' song later?"

Carlos cocked his head in confusion as he started the engine. "What do you mean?"

"Gustavo says he'll sign me if I write an upbeat song, a song with a collaboration and an emotional song." I lowered both my eyes and voice. "And I already have the e-emotional one done."

He was psychically tense and gripped the steering wheel. "Sure babe, tonight?"

I nodded and felt nerves build up in my stomach as he intertwined his fingers through mine. "Yeah."

We walked into the studio a few minutes later and James' mouth fell open in shock when he saw Carlos' tight hold on me.

Logan hit his arm and he waved. "Hey Carlos, hi Riley."

"Hey guys." Carlos yawned, collapsing on the couch. "So are we dancing or what?"

Kendall rolled his eyes. "Yeah he wants us to have 'moves that flow' or some shit like that."

He looked pissed and fear coiled in my stomach. "Shit. Riley you can go home I guess we're not singing."

"Actually." I said softly, not wanting him to get angry because I disagreed. "I'm going to talk to Gustavo about some of my songs."

Carlos didn't seem angry and started debating with Kendall and Logan about the latest hockey draft.

"Dogs! Dance studio now!" Gustavo shouted, walking in with Kelly trailing behind him.

They all groaned and stood from the couch, Carlos kissed me before leaving. I stood up and went up to Gustavo.

"Hey I've had an idea for the upbeat song you've wanted from me."

"So soon?" His voice was calmer now.

"Yeah, it's just a lyric right now but I was wondering if you'd want to hear it?"

He shrugged. "Yeah go for it."

I cleared my throat a little and decided where to start. "I don't know who you are but you look like a star and everybody's thinking who's that boy? I wanna take you home and get you all alone and everybody's thinking who's that boy?"

He squinted at me from behind his glasses. "Who taught you to write songs?"

I shrugged a bit. "No one really."

"You have nothing but raw talent then." He complimented, sounding genuine. "Your lyrics are good."

I felt the color rise in my face. "Wow thanks Gustavo."

"I think we could kill two birds with one stone. I have a new artist named Dev and we could write a short verse she could do and get both the collab and the upbeat song done at once."

I grinned a little more. "Really? Does this mean I'm signed officially?"

"Of course." He stuck out his hand and I shook it. "Riley Cavanaugh, welcome to Rocque Records."

"So you're like one hundred percent signed now?" Logan asked as he handed me a basket of bread.

I smiled broadly and buttered a piece and sat it on my plate. "Sure am, he said I had raw talent."

"Riley that's awesome!" Jo squealed from across the table.

"Yep, it sure is babe." Carlos muttered, kissing my lips.

It was now late into the evening and Carlos had surprised me by taking me out to dinner to celebrate the signing with the guys, Jo, Camille and the new intern James was dating.

"I just really hope I get to tour with you guys, that'd be so cool." I gushed as I snuggled into Carlos' arms. "I mean the five of us on the road would be amazing."

"You know we could persuade Gustavo if we begged hard enough." Kendall smirked as he draped his arm over Jo's shoulder.

"My parents are so excited they want me to go up to Oregon so they can throw some kind of weird party."

Carlos went rigid. "Really? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Oh I, uh I was thinking of turning them down at first." I lied quickly. "But then I decided I wanted them to meet you."

"Really? They want to meet me?"

"Why wouldn't they? You're amazing." I whispered as I kissed his lips.

That seemed to calm him down and dinner went over smoothly. Once we got back to the apartment I changed into sweats and curled up on the couch and collapsed into Carlos' arms.

"Babe?" He asked tiredly, halfway through the movie we were watching.

"Yeah?"

"I just wanted to let you know that I'm rally proud of you."

"You are?"

"Of course I am."

I blushed and ran my hand through his hair. "Well thank you."

"I just want you too know, no matter how mad I get or what I do that I support you." He whispered as he stroked my cheek. "I support you and I always will."

AN: I know it was probably short and full of typos but I'm in the airport waiting for my flight to be undelayed. Carlos seems to be getting better. Next chapter he'll meet the parents and James and Logan will try talking to Riley again. Thanks guys! By the way reviews = faster updates


	10. Only A Matter Of Time

G

"So are you excited to see your parents tomorrow?"

I shrugged a little as I folded my clothes and packed them. "Yeah, I guess."

James frowned at me and handed my shoes so I could pack them. "What's wrong, I thought you and Carlos were okay."

I rolled my eyes, it had been a week and a half since I was officially signed. Carlos still hadn't hurt me but I had been on edge. He was currently redoing some vocals for Gustavo and had left 20 minutes ago. I let out a shaky breath and looked at Logan who was reading.

"Hey Logan." I whispered, looking at my feet. "Uh, what are the first signs of being pregnant."

His eyes widened slightly. "Well, there's your period being late, upset stomach, fatigue, I hear your boobs hurt and you have too pee a lot."

I shook my head as tears stung my eyes. "Shit."

Logan stood up and stared at me with concern. "Why? Do you think you are?"

I inhaled sharply. "I'm late."

James' tan face lost all it's color. "You and Carlos?"

"Just Carlos, trust me I didn't want to." I spat opening the drawer I knew kept them in. "These expired like 3 months ago."

James rubbed my back and shushed me after I threw the box across room. "When did you two do it?"

"The day I came over and st-stayed with you guys." I whimpered as I wiped my eyes. "I didn't want too! He was like I love you babe, just do it and he, he made me."

Logan clenched his fists. "You mean he raped y-you."

I flinched at the word and sat on my bed and rubbed my eyes. "I guess and used he protection but I'm late. I've had this funny feeling in my stomach the past few days."

"I'm going to kick his ass." James vowed. "You have to tell someone, this is getting crazy."

"He's right, if you're pregnant you need a doctor and you have to tell him. He could really hurt both of you."

I ran my hand through my hair. "This can't be happening."

"It'll be okay." Logan tried to comfort me but I just cried harder. "Just have fun at your parents and we'll figure it out when you get back. We'll tell Kendall."

I nodded and zipped my bag up. "O-okay."

They pulled me into a hug and I gripped their shoulders. "You should take a test."

"I w-will tomorrow." I whispered into James' shoulder. "Thanks you guys."

They said their goodbyes and left shortly after and I sat back down with my hand on my stomach. There was no way in hell I was having a baby with an asshole like Carlos. At least not now, I just was signed and it was obvious Carlos was going to go off soon.

My pity party was interrupted when my phone rang. I groaned and answered quickly.

"What?" I snapped, not caring who it was.

"Hey what's are wrong chica?"

My anger didn't soften at all. "Nothing, what's up?"

"I just wanted to tell you I'm going to be at least an hour and a half. Gustavo's in traffic so I might be late for dinner."

I sighed in what only could be called relief. "That sucks, is it okay if I go hang out with the guys, Kendall's sister has been begging me to fishtail braid her hair." The lie rolled effortlessly off my tongue.

"Sure, love you."

I smiled a little. "I love you too."

We hung up and I pulled on my shoes, I was tired off being scared. I was tired of Carlos being a jerk, I was fed up with it all. I slammed the door behind me and opened the door of 2J, I looked around and saw Logan in front of the fridge.

"Logan?"

He turned around and raised and eyebrow. "Hey what's wrong."

My bravery melted away from my body and my knees shook. "I need h-help."

He immediately looked over my shoulder. "Is he back already?"

"No. But if this-" I said gesturing to my stomach. "Is a real thing I can't be with him. He's going to to get mad soon and I don't know what to do."

Logan pulled me into his arms and hugged me tight. "Hey shh, it's okay."

"I want to leave h-him but at the same time I don't want too. As much as I hated it he was my first."

Concern and pity washed over his features. "You don't have to do anything yet. You should let him meet your parents and figure out what your next move is."

"W-will you help me?" I begged. "If I leave him he's going to be pissed and I'm s-scared."

"Of course, James will too."

I looked around. "Where is he?"

"They gym, he claims he need to blow off steam. He's pissed at Carlos."

I sighed as I touched my stomach. "Are you?"

Logan sat me down and draped his arm around me. "Of course I am. When you came over that night it took everything in me not to kick his ass. And he did that too you just before you came, he's a jerk. He may be my best friend but I hate him right now."

I let out a shaky breath and gripped his hand. "I've been throwing up for a few days and I'm so tired. I can't have a baby anytime soon, Carlos is going to kill me when he finds out."

Logan hugged me tighter and stroked my air. "You don't even know if you are. You need to take a test and soon, if you are you need a doctor."

"I know, I'm a week and a half late. I didn't even realize until I was throwing up last week." I muttered as I looked at my lap. "Carlos is going to kill me."

"Riley, he won't do anything to you." He whispered into my ear I as curled up on his lip. "Look, we'll go get a test and find out."

"Will you go? I have money."

The brunette ran a hand through his hair. "It's fine. You can go wait in my room if you want."

I stood up and slowly crumpled up and laid in his bed. "Is James coming back soon?"

"Yeah, I'll send him up."

Soon enough James and Logan were waiting outside the bathroom door and I clutched the plastic stick in my hand. I opened the door and showed it too Logan who's face fell, I started at the pink little line. I shook my head and shoved it the box and handed it too James.

"Riley, hey it'll be okay." James tried to comfort me. "You have choices and we'll help."

I shrugged my shoulders. "It doesn't matter, Carlos is going to go off when he finds out."

James and Logan looked hopelessly at each other. I gave them both a quick hug and thanked them. I left the apartment and my shaking hands struggled to unlock the door.

"Hey there you are." Carlos grinned at me as he kissed me. "Are you okay?"

I gave him a fake smiled. "Yeah, just tired."

After a quick dinner I climbed into bed with Carlos and I wrapped my arms around myself.

"Babe?" He asked, shaky my shoulder. "I don't know what's wrong with you, but I love you."

My heart broke into unrepairable pieces. "Love you too."

I snuggled into his chest and felt his arms wrap around my waist. I placed my on my stomach and whimpered to myself. We were fine now but t was only a mater of time before we broke.

AN: yeah yeah Riley's pregnant. But don't worry this won't be your run of the mill boy abuses girl, girl gets pregnant, boy changes his ways they live happily ever after. That'd be way to easy. NOR WILL IT BE A TEEN MOM STOR, that's way over done I have BIG PLANS ;)

Thanks for all the reviews last time!

Review again?

Check out my story Called "Let Me In"


	11. Meet The Parents

AN: this chapter is somewhat lame but I'm building up for a big chapter. I also wanted a breal from writing angsty dramatic ones. So please enjoy and review.

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>"Hey babe, you okay?"<p>I opened my eyes and sleepily looked out the window at the Oregon coastline underneath me. I took a deep breath and rubbed my stomach. "Yeah, flying just makes me s-sick."<p>

Carlos draped his arm around me and patted my stomach. "Don't worry, we're landing soon."

I nodded and stared out the window, playing with the bracelet on my arm. I couldn't even look at Carlos without wanting to cry. I had known for less than 24 hours and Logan already wanted to take me to the doctor. I sighed and pulled my hair up just as we landed.

"Riley! It's so good to see you!" My mom cried as she suffocated me in a tight hugged. "I've missed you so much."

I smiled and hugged her back. "I missed you too." I looked over her shoulder and saw my step brother grinning at me. "Shane!"

"Hey little sis. How's it going."

I hugged him and smiled up at him. At 21 he was 3 years older than I was. "A lot better now that I'm home. Mom, Shane, this is my boyfriend Carlos."

Carlos flashed his white smile and shook my mom's hand. "Hi, it's nice to meet you." He turned to Shane and sized him up, he was a good 8 inches taller than Carlos was. "Hey Shane."

Shane fist pounded him. "Hey."

I bounced on my heels with a huge grin on my face. "Where's dad?"

"At work, he'll be home soon." My mom sighed as she made her way out of the airport parking lot and down the freeway. "How's California?"

I stared out the window at the greenery zooming past me. "A world away from here."

Carlos wrapped his arm around my waist. "It's beautiful up here, it kind of reminds me of back home in the winter."

Shane turned around in his seat. "Where are you from?"

"Minnesota, California nice and all but I mis the trees."

"Minnesota. It's that in the middle of nowhere?"

Carlos laughed and shrugged his shoulders. "Basically."

Once we arrived at the house Carlos grabbed my bag and took it to my room and Shane grabbed Carlos' and sat it next mine.

"So this is your room?" He asked sitting on my bed after I shut the door. "It's nice."

"Yeah this is it." I tried not to groan as my stomach churned once more. "Be right back."

I quickly made my way into the bathroom and emptied the contents of my stomach into the bowl and flushed. I rinsed out my mouth and saw Carlos in the doorway.

"Shit, are you okay?"

I nodded a little. "Yeah I guess.

"You look sick."

I walked past him back to my room and laid in my bed and stared at the ceiling. "Carlos can we talk?"

"Yeah what's up?"

I grabbed his hand and looked down at my belly. "Well, uh there's no easy way to say this but I'm uh, thinking of coming home." I lied quickly as I chickened out.

"What why?"

I stood up. "Never mind I probably won't its just that I'm homesick."

"Hey, it's okay." He said kissing my forehead. "I was homesick too."

"Really?"

"Totally. I left my mom and dad and all my town to come out here. It gets better though."

I kissed him and hugged him. "At least I have you."

Carlos kissed up and down my neck and pulled me close. "I love you."

I was silent, he sounded honest for once. "I l-love you too."

Carlos kissed me again and pulled me on his lap. "Is that you?"

I turned around and saw the picture of me and my dad when I was 7 on my dresser. "Yeah that's me."

"You were adorable, who's that?"

"My real dad, he left a few weeks after this picture. I don't know where he is now."

Carlos frowned. "I'm sorry. That sucks my dad says a real man never leaves his family."

"I guess."

Carlos pulled me too my feet. "Come on."

"Where are we going?"

"Show me around what did you do around here?"

I smiled and grabbed my shoes and jacket. I led him downstairs and grabbed my mom's keys. "Mom,I'm showing Carlos around okay?"

She smiled and hugged me. "Alright your dad will be home in an hour."

"We'll be back in time." I said following Carlos out the door.

I started the car and drive down the familiar tree lined streets. I sighed a I passed my old bus stop from elementary school and my best friend's house. I pulled off to the empty parking lot of my high school.

"This is my high school." I said smiling as I stepped out into the parking lot and climbed up the bleachers and sat down. "I'm so glad I graduated early. Being California and school at the same time would be nuts."

Carlos rubbed my back and pulled me into my arms as I shivered. "Yeah, so your mom is sweet."

"Yeah I think she really likes you and so does my brother." I sighed as I thought about the time Carlos took my phone and saw Shane's text and beat the shit out of me. "I think my dad will like you, if you don't like get angry. He's like sensitive about that his dad did it to his mom."

Carlos looked annoyed and offended at the same. "You know I'm not going to do that anymore."

"Yeah but he's always nervous when I start dating someone." I rested my forehead against his. "I love you."

His voice was low and raspy. "You too."

The drive back my house was silent, Carlos was jet lagged and I was too sick to my stomach to even try talking. I pulled to a stop and led Carlos into the living room where my step dad was sitting.

"Hey dad." I smiled warmly as I hugged him. "I missed you."

"Hey squirt I missed you too."

"Dad this is my boyfriend Carlos Garcia."

My sized him up and shook his hand. "Will Cavanaugh, nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too." He flashed his innocent goofball smile that had tricked me into being with him months ago. "Thanks for having me."

"No problem, just don't do anything to hurt Riley or you'll be sorry."

I laughed at that just to humor myself. If only my dad, Carlos would probably be out the door. "Dad he's fine I promise."

My dad took his hand off Carlos' shoulder and Carlos looked kind of pissed. "That will never be a problem."

"Good."

Dinner went over well and my family asked about being signed and when I was going to let them hear my music. Carlos as usual put on his charming good boy act and had everyone in his hands like clay. I had picked at dinner still feeling sick. I was now in Carlos' arms in my old bed.

"My family loves you." I yawned. "They really do."

"I'm glad because I really want them to because I plan on being with you for a long time."

My heart almost melted into a puddle as he kissed my lips and smiled. I nearly forgot what he'd done or the thing growing inside me.

"So do I." I finally choked out. "I want to be with you too."

His smiled warmed my heart. It made me forget, it made me wonder if staying with him could actually be worth it.

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>AN: So Riley might stay with him! The next chapter will be 3 weeks after this one and Riley will go to the doctor with James and Logan. Also she'll get some news!<p><p>

Sorry I took forever I had to work all last week.. Thanks for all the reviews!

Keep them coming


	12. Good News and Bad News

AN: Hey guys can you PLEASE go back a d review the last chapter of this before reading this one? Enjoy ;p

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><p>"So how was Oregon?" James asked, trying to keep the mood light. "Did your parents like him?"<p>

I shrugged and stared at the floor. "He was a gentleman. He slept in the guest room and helped around the house, made friends with my brother. They loved him, I mean he was even nice to me."

"Have you told him about the baby?"

I gave Logan a small shake of the head and sat up straight as the doctor came in. "Riley?"

"Yeah. Thanks for seeing me." I muttered uncomfortably as I looked around the small exam room of Planned Parenthood.

"No problem. You think you might be pregnant correct?"

I nodded my head and sighed. "Yeah, I'm late."

"We'll take a test and an ultrasound just to make sure." I pulled on a pair of gloves and glanced at Logan and James. "Hi guys, and you are?"

I glanced at them and watched Logan fumble for an answer. "Oh, I'm her brother."

James have me a clueless look before looking at the ground. "I g-guess I'm the dad?"

Her eyes went from my face to James' before casting us a sad smile. "Well if you go into the bathroom and take this we'll find out soon enough."

I shot James and Logan a teary grin before shutting the door. I went into the cup and stuck the plastic stick into it. I jumped when the doctor knocked on the door a few minutes later.

"Riley what does it say?"

I opened the door and choked out a sob. "It's p-positive."

"Well let have an ultrasound and we'll see."

I pushed myself up on the table and gripped James' hand as the doctor moved the doppler over my stomach. James' voice was low and shaky. "Is she pregnant?"

"Riley you're about 5 weeks. Everything seems fine but you need to start gaining weight and take the pills I'm prescribing. Okay?"

I was beside myself and tear rushed down my cheeks. "Kay."

She then cast James a stern look. "And dad, don't let her strain herself and make sure she eats."

James squeezed my hand and nodded, his face was visibly paler. "Okay."

"Well Riley I'll see you soon. Just get this filled every time it runs out and lay off the caffeine." She said handing me a prescription paper and some papers about pregnancy. "Take it easy."

I muttered my thanks and wrapped my arms around James and cried into his shoulder once we got outside. "I'm s-sorry."

"For what?"

I stared up at James and frowned. "For dragging you and Logan into this. Now that doctor thinks you're the father and Carlos is going to kill me?"

James shook his head and increased his grip on my waist. "We want to help, and you know if Carlos skips out Logan and I will help you?"

"Really?"

Logan hugged me too and bit his lip. "What are you going to do?"

I shrugged as I buckled my seatbelt. "Honestly I thought about it and I think I'm k-keeping it."

"What?" James sounded angry as he turned around. "Why?"

I looked at the lap an played with my hand. "Well, maybe Carlos will stop after he you know, has a baby."

"Riley no. What if he gets even worse hurts the baby?" Logan pointed out. "He doesn't like kids all that much and he'll probably pissed at you for keeping it."

I rolled my eyes and tried to keep my growing frustration under control. "But it's my baby and I think Carlos would be a good dad."

"But what about Gustavo? Do think he's going to be cool with his newest artist being knocked up?" James' voice was unusually harsh and it made me flinched. "Look, maybe it would just be better if you gave it up, if you want to keep it we'll help but it'll be hard."

"I know, but it's ours. I know it's crazy but I love it already." I felt tears sting my eyes. "I have to keep it save from Carlos, he won't hurt the baby, I promise."

"Speaking of which where is baby daddy of the year?" James asked bitterly as we walked into their apartment. "Hungover somewhere?"

I felt my cheeks burn with embarrassment as James glared at me. "No he's asleep, he's still jet lagged."

"Sure he is." Logan sighed as he hugged me. "You really need to leave him.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and stared at James who was was on couch and glaring at me. "What's your problem?"

James rolled his eyes. "My problem? Gee I don't know Riley maybe the fact that you're being beat shitless by my best friend and you're pregnant and hell bent on keeping it!"

I jumped at the volume of James' voice. "Why do you even care?"

He turned red and looked at his shoes. "It doesn't even matter.

"James I'm s-"

"You're sorry? For what being so afraid of someone that you'll stay with him even though and beats you?" James was close to tears and turned to the wall and slammed his fist against it. I immediately cringed and jumped back. "You deserve better than him."

I was frozen and finally moved when his door slammed. "Logan?"

Logan took note of my tears and shaking lips and pulled me close to his chest. "Hey it's okay, he wasn't going to hit you. He just hates seeing you like this, he was close with Abigail and then Carlos hurt her and he lost her. He tired of Carlos hurting you."

"Well I am too." I mumbled I wiped my eyes. "I uh, got to go. See you around."

After waking up Carlos and dealing with his whining about getting up and splashing my face with water we were now at the studio and walking down the hall.

"You think he's firing me?" I asked nervously as he led me down the hall . "I mean I-"

Carlos chuckled and kissed me. "Babe you are so amazing, there's no way he's firing you. Relax."

I nodded and opened the door and saw Kendall, Logan and James sitting with Gustavo. I gave Logan and awkward wave and smiled at Kendall. "You wanted to see me?"

I sat next to Carlos and across from James who refused to look at me. I frowned at his swollen knuckles.

"Because I'm amazing. I have some good news." Gustavo boasted as he stood up."Dogs get a good look at Riley you'll be seeing her a lot."

I was confused. "Why?"

"Because you my friend are Big Time Rush's opening act."

My jaw dropped as I was pulled into an embrace from Carlos and Kendall. Carlos kissed me whispered how amazing it was going to be. Kendall was pumped for me to meet fans and see the country. I accepted small hug from Logan who looked uncomfortable, I followed his gaze and saw James glaring at Carlos and flexing his bruised hand.

He pulled me in close and I stated into his water hazel eyes. "Congratulations."

I touch his fist and swallowed the lump in my throat this was going to be a long summer.

AN: ugh this was a bad chapter everytime I went to work on this update my computer had only save the first 4 sentences. Which resulted in me rewriting this 4 times. Well James is pissed and Riley in 100% pregnant. What do you think of James? Can please get more than one review for this one. Merry Christmas


	13. The Truth Comes Out

"Again. Five, Six, Seven, Eight!" Mr. X instructed as he turned the backing track to my song 'Who's That Boy' back on. "Don't look at your feet."

I tightened my ponytail and nodded, I moved across the floor and stared at myself in the mirror in front so I wouldn't look at my feet. I turned and swayed my hips, I inhaled deeply as twisted myself around back to the starting position. I let my shoulders slump when the music stopped.

"Excellent." He grinned putting the emphasis on the X as usual. "Very good."

"Thanks can I go get some water?"

He nodded and I walked down the to the staff room and grabbed at bottle of water. I yelped as I felt a pair of arms grabbed me, I turned around and sighed. It was just Carlos and the guys.

"You scared the shit out of me." I exhaled as I took another sip. "What's up?"

"Recording demos with Gustavo before tour." Kendall clarified as he looked at me causing me too blush. I was only in short shorts and a tank top. "You?"

I groaned. "Dancing, Mr. X is insane."

"No you mean Extreme." Carlos joked, crossing his arms in an X shape.

James rolled his eyes and looked me up and down. Logan nudged him and then smiled at me. "Can we watch?"

I blushed again. "No, no, no its way to embarrassing."

Carlos pulled me close. "Please baby?"

I felt uncomfortable as he glared at me. "Sure."

I could feel James' stare burning holes in the back of my head. I jumped when I felt Carlos pinch me, I frowned and pushed his hand away. "Quit."

"Whatever." I walked back in to the studio. "Mr. X, can they watch?"

"Sure."

I started dancing and James, Kendall and Logan stared at my me, causing me to get slightly distracted. I swayed my hips and slightly grinded my hips, my stomach dropped when I saw Carlos glaring at me. I threw my hand over my mouth and ran out of the room and dropped to my knees in the bathroom and emptied my stomach. I clutched at my stomach and rested my head on my knees.

"Riley?" It was Kelly on the other side of the door. "Riley are you okay?"

I opened the stall and rinsed my mouth out. "Y-Yeah, I just got a little too dizzy."

"You need to go home and rest. Gustavo gave Carlos the day off so he can take you home."

"Thank you." I whispered as I have her a small smile.

"No problem feel better."

I opened the door and saw Carlos standing in the hall. "Did you puke?"

I nodded and followed him out to the parking garage and got in the car. I buckled my seatbelt and rubbed my stomach and tried to ignore its churning. "Sorry you h-had to leave."

"Shut up." He spat as he pulled onto the freeway and sped towards the Palm Woods.

I flinched at his tone but knew better than to talk. Once we got back I followed him into the elevator and he shoved me out and snatched my keys from my shaking hands. I stumbled inside and shut the door. He turned around looked pissed.

"Babe what's wrong?"

Carlos ran his hand through his hair. "You're a fucking whore."

I backed up against the wall. "Why d-did I do wrong?"

He was inches away from my face. "Like you don't know, prancing around those damn shorts and grinding in front of my friends. It's like you want to them too fuck you."

"I wasn't trying- its hot in there and I just-"

I was cut off when he slapped me. He shoved me to the ground and I wrapped my arms protectively around my waist. "You shouldn't be in shorts anyways, you're a fucking fat ass."

Tears pooled in my eyes. "No I'm not."

Carlos wrenched my arms away from torso and jabbed his finger in my stomach, where I was already starting to get bigger even though I was only six weeks along. "Yes you are! You're such a whore."

I curled up in a ball and Carlos kicked me in the thighs and shins repeatedly, he pulled me up by my hair and threw me against the wall. He drug me to our bedroom and fear instantly took over my body.

"N-Not again." I begged as I sobbed in his arms. "Please."

Carlos' eyes were full of an indescribable emotion as he knelt over me and grabbed a pillow and pushed it against my face. I panicked and began to kicked my legs even though they radiated with pain

"You're nothing!" He sneered as he continued to suffocate me.

I began to feel dizzy as I faded in and out of reality. I weakly twisted as turned and was grateful when he moved the pillow. I took a deep breath and stared at him, feeling nothing but terror.

Carlos slapped me across the face several time before spitting on me. "If I catch you dressed like that or see my friends eye fucking you you'll be lucky if you're alive."

I felt tears course down my face. "O-Okay."

He looked satisfied and stood up. "Say you're sorry."

"I'm s-sorry."

"You better be." He stood up and slammed the door behind him. "I'm to a party with the Jennifer's don't wait up."

I rolled onto my side and carefully lifted my shirt and grimaced at the bruise on my tummy from where he jabbed me. Maybe James was right, maybe a baby wouldn't change how Carlos acted. I heard the front door slammed and waited a few minutes before grabbing my phone.

"Hello?"

I let out a shaky breath. "Can you and James come over?"

"Did he hurt you?"

Another sob escaped my lips. "Uh huh."

Logan mumbled to himself. "Shit, okay. Be there in five."

"Oh and Logan?"

"Hmm."

I swallowed the lump in my throat and the words stuck in my throat. "Bring Kendall."

"W-What are you sure?"

I nodded as I wiped my eyes. "Y-Yeah, I'm tired of this. I'm tired of all of t-this."

"Okay see you soon."

A few minutes later I opened the door and smiled when Logan walked in, James and Kendall we're trailing behind him.

"Hey Riley what's going on?" Kendall asked, looking around for Carlos.

I shook my head and stared up at him, tears were already building in my eyes. I wanted to tell him the truth but my mouth couldn't form words.

"Carlos hurts h-her." James spat and grimaced at his name. "And she won't leave."

Kendall's gave change from a goofy smile to a deathly scowl. "W-What no he doesn't."

I pulled the blanket away from my legs, revealing the quickly forming bruises that covered them. "He did that t-today."

"What the hell? Why?" He demanded as he stated at them.

"He didn't want me wearing short shorts and was pissed that you guys were staring."

James shut his eyes and shook his head. "Shit, what did he do?"

"Kicked me, and then he." I let out a sob and wrapped myself around James' body. "He took me to our room and he tried to suffocate me."

Logan's face lost all it's color, he looked sick. "He what?"

"He h-held a pillow against my face and threw me around."

Kendall was steaming. "Where is he? I'm going to kick his ass."

I jumped out of James' arms but he grabbed my waist. "No don't!"

He raised his bushy eyebrows. "Why not? He's beat up his other girlfriend,he won't change."

I felt embarrassed that I was so messed up. I shook my head stares into his green eyes. "I'm p-pregnant."

He ran his hands through his blonde hair. "You're pregnant? When did you and Carlos start hooking up?"

"She didn't want to." James' voice was shaking with rage. "Dude he raped her."

Kendall's face contorted with anger. "I'm going to kill him, how long has this been happening!?"

"A year, well almost a year." I said as I hung my head in shame. "I love him so much I just want him to stop."

James pulled me into his chest. "you deserve so much more."

"I know." I whimpered into his shirt. "I just want him too stop."

AN: Kendall knows now! Riley Still loves him though! This was shitty I know but I'm tired. Reviews are loved! Happy Holidays!


	14. You Have No Idea

AN: I know I know I updated again but writing this is so addictive! Enjoy & review my goal is 45 before Christmas **  
><strong>

Also check the last chapter if you haven't already!

"Hey guys?" I asked softly as I opened the door to the dressing room. "Can I show you something?"

Kendall, Logan and James looked up and nodded. Kendall looked uncomfortable, he's been really nervous since I told him about Carlos almost a month ago.

Logan smiled. "Yeah what's up?"

I shut the door and turned to side so my profile was facing them. I pulled the hem of my shirt up over my stomach, revealing the small baby bump I know had. "Look I'm showing."

James had a huge smile on his face. "How far you."

I pulled my shirt back down and rubbed my stomach. "Almost three months."

"Wow, does Carlos know yet?" Kendall asked as he touched my stomach.

"No, not yet. I'm going to tell him soon though."

James rolled his eyes as he looked the bruise on my wrist. "What happened to your wrist."

I pulled my sleeve down around my wrist and shrugged. "I landed on it wrong when I tripped."

"When you tripped or when you fell?" Logan asked as he checked it for swelling. "Did he shove you?"

"Yeah but I'm fine."

James looked skeptical. "And the baby?"

I frowned, "I haven't been to the doctor since I found out but I'm gaining weight."

"Riley come on." He groaned as he ran his hand through his hair "You need to see a doctor."

"No I don't James." I grabbed his hands and place them on my stomach. "See I'm fine, I looked it up and I

seem fine."

James rolled his eyes once more before standing up and grabbing a bottle of water out of the mini fridge. "So where is your prince charming off fucking the Jennifers again?"

I cringed at his tone and then felt tears pool in my eyes. After Carlos left a few weeks ago and went to that party Guitar Dude told me he walked in on Carlos screwing with the curly haired Jennifer. Lucy then told me she saw him make out with the other two later that night. "Shut up. He's picking up his parents."

James glared at me. "Sure he is. Hey since were in Minnesota maybe he can go find Abigail and you two can have a fucking pity party."

"Why do you care what he does to me anyways? You're always so pissed about him."

James' face turned red. "You're my friend I'm tired of him hurting you all the time."

"He has a point you know he cheated on you more than once." Kendall shrugged as he ran his hand through his hair.

"And you're preg-."

I cut Logan off. "Yes I know Carlos is an awful person, I know he cheats and I know I'm having his kid but I'm in love with him. He's perfect and I'm sorry you guys don't get that but I love him."

Logan hugged me. "I get that but I also see how terrified you are of him. He walks in the room and you loose all the color in your face."

"Look we're in Minnesota, we're in your hometown can we just try to have a good show?"

They all mumbled yes and I shut the door. I took off down the hall to my small dressing room and started humming to warm up my voice. It was our second week into the tour and I was no longer nervous.

"Hey babe."

I smiled when Carlos came in and kissed me. "Hey."

"Mom, Papi this is my girlfriend Riley."

I stood up and smiled at his parents, he looked like his mom. "Hi I'm Riley nice to meet you."

Carlos' mom shook my hand. "Carlos has told us a lot about you."

I smirked slightly. "Has he?"

Carlos blushed scratched the back of his head. "Yeah."

Carlos' dad laughed as he shook my head. "I've never seen Carlitos blush so much."

I smiled and shook his hand. "Nice to meet you."

Carlos cleared his throat. "Well as fun as it to sit here play Let's See Who Can Embarrass Carlos The Most, I have to change."

I sighed. "Fine but I'm so winning that game."

He faked a laughed and kissed my cheek. "We'll see about that."

He walked out the room and Carlos' mom turned to me. "You're very petty."

"Um, thanks." I stuttered. "Carlos seems happy, he talks about you guys all the time."

Carlos' dad shrugged. "He's treating you right though?"

I faked a confused look as the panic bubbled inside of me. "Of c-course why wouldn't he?"

They looked at each before looking at me. "Just wondering, we raised Carlos to be a good guy that's all." His mother said quickly.

"If you give any trouble let us know."

I nodded and stared at his parents and subconsciously rubbed my bruised wrist. "Thanks."

"Babe you're in 20 minutes." Carlos said backing in, he was dressed in stage clothes. "Hey the other parents want to see you."

His mom grinned. "Good I miss Kendall's mom."

His parents left and Carlos shut the door. "You okay?"

"Y-Yeah, your parents are nice. They asked me if you treated me right it was weird." I was hoping he would come clean about Abigail. "I was like why wouldn't he?"

"Just some old bullshit." He spat with rage, he watched me reapply the cover up to my wrist and then under my eye. "I'm sorry."

I nodded obediently. "I know."

He leaned over me and brushed his finger down my bruise face. "It's never going to happen again."

"I believe you." I lied easily and slipped my jeans on and inhaled to fit them over my stomach. "See you out there."

Carlos kissed me and smirked. "Love you."

"You too."

He shut the door and finally could exhale, I pulled on my top and rubbed my belly, he was going to notice soon. I heard a knock and sighed. "Come in!"

"Hey."

I turned around and his hazel eyes met mine. "James, what's up."

James shut the door and walked across the room, he placed his hands on my shoulders. "I'm sorry I've been a dick to you."

"It's fine, I uh have you go I'm on in a few minutes."

He bit his lip. "Good luck."

"Thanks." I brushed past him and opened the door. "Carlos?"

He turned around and I pressed my mouth against his, trying to forget James. "I love you."

Carlos looked confused. "You too."

I did my set of songs and enjoyed myself. I liked opening up, you got to pump up the crowd and they now knew my songs well enough to sing along, it's was strange to hear thousands of people sing Love The Way You Lie with me. I thanked them and walked off, I jumped into Carlos' waiting arms and he kissed me.

"You get better every time." He whispered, his hands trailing down my backside. "You're amazing."

I smiled at him and kissed him. "Have a good show."

I watched from the side of the stage as they guys sang and danced, I blushed every time Carlos would wink at me. They knew how it freaked me out when they flipped on the trampoline so Carlos would do it every song. They now sat in different parts of the stage and Kendall took the lead vocals on "No Idea."

It came to the chorus and the crossed over the stage and were now dancing. James was looked miserable, his face was twisted into a frown.

"You have no idea, no idea that I'm even here." He sang, his voice was shaky. "You have no idea, no idea I'm standing here."

My mouth dropped opened as I watched him wipe his eyes with his sleeve. Logan glanced over at him worriedly. I tried to ignore his face when Carlos started singing.

"Let me take that heart of yours, and I'll be whatever you need me to be." He winked at me. "The good guy, bad guy just tell me baby."

He was oblivious to James who was lagging behind his dance moves. Logan sang the next verse and smiled at the crowds. Kendall sang his lines and it came back to James whose eyes were full of tears. He froze and his eyes locked onto mine.

"You have no idea, no idea that I'm even here." He changed the she to a you and he let out a shaky breath. "You have no idea, no idea I'm standing here."

I stood there with my mouth opened in shock, I watched James walked to the side of the stage and run his fingers through his hair and stare at the ceiling. Kendall took over his vocals and James took a deep breath before jogging back up front to take over the end vocals with Logan like normal.

They guys finished there dance moves and James looked back over at me, tears now freely flowing down his face.

"She has no i-idea no idea that I'm even here. She has no idea, no idea that I'm even here." He choked out the last few words. "No idea, no idea I'm standing here."

The stage blacked out and the audience cheered somewhat blind to James' meltdown. James stormed off stage and the guys followed him.

"Dude are you okay?" Kendall asked as he sat James down. "Do you need water?"

James swatted the bottle away. "I don't need water."

Logan handed a tissue and he wiped his sticky face. "Are you okay."

James stared at Logan and Kendall and then me. "N-no I'm okay."

Carlos was smiling trying to cheer him up. "Yeah James what's wrong?"

James rolled his eyes. "Like you don't know."

My heart rate picked up. "Guys I'll sit with James for a while why don't you go back out there?"

Kendall nodded. "Good idea come on guys."

They back on stage and I sat next to him. "What's wrong?"

James shook his head, wiped the last of his tears and faked a smile. "Nothing, it doesn't even matter."

AN: So I've had the chapter planned out on my mind for months it was one of the first two chapter I thought about. As soon as I heard no idea I knew I had to do this. Anyways James cried onstage like a pansy. I wonder why ;) Spoiler Alert: You like the next chapter.


	15. That's My Reason

AN: so i love how i can get 5 reviews in like 20 minutes I love you guys. My new goal in 50 before new years! ALSO THE SONG RILEY SINGS IS "He didnt mean it" by Jasmine V and James sins Face Down by the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus (Find the acoustic version)! The song in the last chapter was No Idea by BTR YOU REALLY SHOULD LISTEN TO THESE!

I sighed to myself as I stared at the ceiling of my bunk, another show tonight. We were now in Chicago, three days have gone by since James broke down on stage. We haven't haven't talked since that night and I've been spending all my time with Carlos. I got out of my bunk and walked off the bus and into the arena and found the guys playing stick hockey on stage.

"Hey, have you seen Carlos around?"

James' face dropped and he cleared his throat. "Why should I give shit?"

I rolled my eyes. "Because he's my boyfriends and you're not."

James threw his hockey stick down and walked away. Kendall sighed and picked it back. "He's in the dressing room."

"Thanks." I walked away and saw Gustavo. "Hey Gustavo?"

He looked up from his clipboard. "Hmm?"

"Oh I was just wondering if I could do my new song tonight?" I asked quickly, thinking of the song I wrote after Carlos practically suffocated me. "I can do it acoustically if you want."

"Yeah we have time, as long as James doesn't have tantrum."

I laughed uneasily. "True. See ya Gustavo."

I walked past him navigated towards the dressing rooms. I saw that his door was shut which was weird for him. I opened the door and heard giggling. I furrowed my eyebrows and walked in. I froze as I looked at Carlos who was on top of some blonde girl, who naked underneath him.

"Carlos what fuck?" I exclaimed as tears filled my eyes. "Who's that?"

Carlos looked up. "Shit Riley, this is um-"

"Ashley?" The blonde chimed in annoyed, she sat up and slipped her dress back on. "Bye babe."

Carlos kissed her cheek and she left. "Babe I know what it looks like."

"You were fucking her! You cheated on me again first the Jennifers and now her? Am I not good enough for you?" I screamed as I shoved him as he pulled his pants back on. "I hate you."

Carlos shoved me back. "What are you talking about?"

"Guitar Dude and Lucy both said you fucked the Jennifers at that party!"

Carlos shoved me against the back of the door and wrapped his hands around my wrists. "Of course I did I'm not getting any from you."

Tears streaked my face once again. "I hate you, I fucking hate you."

He slapped me across the face. "If you hate me so much go fuck one of my friends, they stare at you enough."

"No! I would never do that, you're my boyfriend." I lowered my voice. "And I love you."

Carlos sighed and let go of me. "I love you too."

I rolled my eyes. "Sure you do."

"I didn't mean it, I swear." Carlos mumbled as he put his lips to my neck. "You're still my baby girl, I need you."

I shoved him off of me. "Then don't cheat on me!"

The next thing I felt was an intense throbbing coming from my jaw and blood trickling down my lip. "Get out of here whore."

I grabbed wrapped my arms around myself and began sobbing. "Whatever."

Carlos tripped me as I walked to the door. I pushed myself back up ignoring the pain in my ankle. I went into my dressing room and locked myself in. I cleaned the blood from my lip and curled up on the couch.

"Riley can I come in?"

"I guess."

The door opened it was Logan and Kendall. "Hey."

I looked up. "Hi."

Kendall rushed over. "Shit your face, what happened?"

"I fell." I said sarcastically, I was on no mood. "After I walked in on him screwing with a bimbo."

Logan's brown eyes were full of anger. "You're kidding right?"

I shook my head. "I wish, I'm sick of him being a jerk."

Kendall let me lean my head on his shoulder. "You need to leave him."

"I know but what about the baby?" I mumbled helplessly. "It's his."

"Well you can full custody and you know we'll help you." Logan said as he came back with bag. "Here you need to eat something."

I grimaced as I picked at my salad. "I'm not hungry."

"Riley you need to eat." Logan pointed out as he gestured at my stomach. "You're almost three months and you can't even tell."

I shoved a forkful in my mouth and swallowed. "Can I ask you something."

"Yeah what's up?"

"What's going on with James?"

Logan and Kendall glanced at each other. "Uh I don't know Kendall?"

Kendall shrugged. "I don't know. He just wants you to leave him."

"Oh, we'll I'm going to clean lip up, so I'll see you later."

They stood up, obviously confused and I shut the door. I sat back down in my chair and glanced at the clock I had a good hour and a half until I had to open the show. I grabbed a box of tissues and an ice pack from the mini fridge. I held it against my jaw and wiped the blood from lip and winced at the tender area beneath my eye. I cleaned up my face the best I could before giving up.

"Riley are you in there you're on in 10 minutes!" Kelly called from the side of the door. "Riley?"

I opened my eyes and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. "Y-Yeah."

I quickly ran my brush through my hair, pulled on the stage outfit that was left in my room and touched up the make around my eye and lip. I pulled on my shoes and opened the door and saw was rushed to stage, I gave James a small smile as I walked out. I warmed up the crowd and managed to limp through my first few songs before I had to ask the stage crew to bring out a stool.

"So this is a new song I wrote a few weeks ago." I announced as I finished Love The Way You Lie. "It's called, He Didn't Mean It."

"Do you see me and still feel love or have change inside your heart?" I started off as I thought about Carlos. "To have only you is such a fuss

To give all of me is not enough"

I took a deep breath and continued you singing, "You're down on bended knees saying you didn't mean, you didn't mean it, if you didn't mean it then way did you say it?"

I shut my eyes and worked my way through the rest of the song. I glanced over at Carlos who was yelling at Kendall. I shook my head and looked back the audience.

"It's time to let you go It's time to say goodbye, boy you need to know  
>I'm done with you messing with my mind." I held the last note as long as I could, my voice shook and I finished the last chorus.<p>

I walked to front, touched some hands and thanked them before going off stage. I breezed past Carlos who was trembling with anger and ignored Kendall who tried to talk to me.

They went on stage and did their normal set and made it the whole through show before James sat down with a guitar in hand looked at Kendall and Logan.

"This next song, is my new favorite and it's dedicated to someone special." He looked over at me and gave me a half smile.

Hey girl you know drive me crazy, one look put the rhythm in my hand, I'll still never understand why you hang around I see what's going down.

I raised an eyebrow, I didn't know the song but I continued watching and and Kendall starting humming along with Logan as James kept singing. James glared at Carlos who was was absolutely still but faked a smile.

Cover up with makeup in the mirror, tell yourself it's never gonna happen again, you cry alone and then he swears he loves you.

I bit my lip and Logan started singing.

Do you feel like a man when you push her around do you feel better now as you fall to the ground? Well I'll tell you my friend one day this world's gonna end as your lies crumble down a new life she has found.

My heart dropped into my stomach when I saw Carlos star daggers into me. I shook my head, turned around and fled to my dressing room. I locked the door and slid to the floor. He had to know that Logan, James and Kendall knew. He was going to kill me. I pushed my back against the door and buried my face into my knees. I never should told them.

I don't know how long I sat like that but I jumped when I heard a knock. Against my better judgment I unlocked the door and opened it.

"Are you okay?"

I shook my head. "Why do you care James?"

He shut the door. "You ran off, you limped onstage and you have a nasty bruise on your cheek."

"Carlos knows I told you guys!"

James shook his head. "No he doesn't he was yelling at Kendall because he asked about that girl he was with."

"Really?"

James nodded. "And that song, I don't know what he thinks but he seems fine."

I looked down. "Why'd you sing it?"

"Had to get it off my chest." He whispered. "I know I've been a jerk and I'm sorry."

"You're an asshole! I know you hate me being with Carlos but I don't see why you care so much. I know Abigail was your friend but this is different. I'm having his baby, we're going to be parents so you just have to accept it!"

James rolled his eyes. "I'll never accept that fact that he hurts you and gets away with it."

"Why do you care, why did cry during No Idea? Why do care so much!" I shouted as I ran my hand through my hair. "You have no reason too!"

The next thing I knew was James' lips were pressed against mine and his hands were on my hips. He titled his head and kissed me. I pulled back and stared at him, dumbfounded.

"That's my reason." He whispered as he stroked my cheek. "I l-love you Riley and you need to be with someone who won't hurt you."

"So someone like you?" I spat.

James nodded. "Yeah, someone like me. I'll never lay a hand on you, just leave him."

"No James. Just get out of here." I whispered.

James leaned in and kissed me again. "I'm in love with you, that's why I care so much."

AN: So 15 chapters later they finally kiss! This definitely will be the chapter I post until the 26th. I'll probably update sometime between the 26th and 31st. I hope you enjoyed! I live writing this chapter. Next chapter will be full of drama. Keep the reviews rolling in they're a good motivator! Love ya!


	16. He Finally Did It

AN: You guys are incredible you review so damn fast. Well here's the chapter that was my first idea for this. WARNING:Somewhat graphic violence.

Saying that I'm confused would be a major understatement. I was conflicted about so staying with Carlos or going to James. I sighed as I thought about James and the way he kissed me three nights ago in Chicago and how gentle he was. I shook my head and tried I forgot the feeling of his soft, warm lips against mine.

"You just need to forget." I mumbled to myself as I pulled out my makeup. "You have Carlos."

I clipped my hair up and looked at the large bruise on the side of my face. I gently covered my face with makeup before setting it with powder. I let my hair down decided to leave it wavy. I walked over to the window and sighed, I should've been excited, we were in New York for 3 nights and these were the biggest shows on tour. I just couldn't be excited, I was to confused.

"Hey baby."

I flinched as I saw Carlos staring at me. "H-Hi."

He stepped closer to me and I felt nervous. He hadn't spoken to me since Chicago after James, Logan and Kendall sang that song for me. He's been strangely calm which put me on edge, he was going to make me pay for what they did I just didn't know how.

"You look nice." He smiled as he linked his fingers through mine. "Come on."

"W-where are we going?"

He looked sad and bit his lip. "C-can talk? Please baby it's important."

"Yeah what's wrong?" I was immediately concerned when he drew in a shaky breath. "Let me grab my ph-"

He cut me off. "Can it just be the two of us. I just have to talk to you."

I followed him out of the room and down the hall, the further we walked the less people we passed. He looked around before stopping in damp half lit hallway.

"Okay, what's wrong." I asked as I rubbed his back.

His head snapped up. "How do they know?"

"How does who know what?"

Carlos' eyes darkened. "How does James, Kendall and Logan know what I do."

I felt sick, he was never sad about anything he just wanted me alone. "They don't."

Carlos grabbed my wrist. "Don't fucking lie to me Riley! They sang that song a few nights ago and Kendall asked me why you were limping on stage! They know because Logan made a comment about you getting beat up."

"Carlos." I said firmly, trying to be brave. "Let go of me, now."

He slapped me across the face and pinned me to the wall. "Answer me. How do they know? Did you tell them?"

I shook my head. "No, I didn't tell them. I didn't tell."

He hit me once more. "Liar."

I shoved him away. "I'm going back to the dressing rooms."

"Not until you tell the truth." He grabbed my hair and pulled me to the floor. "How do they know?"

Tears finally fell down my cheeks as he circled around me. "I would never tell them."

"Oh really?" He spat at me. "Then why did James sing a song about abuse? Why would Kendall ask me about the bruises on your arm?" His voice grew louder. "Why was Logan looking up how to get a girl to leave an abusive realtionship last night?"

I shut my eyes and fear ran through my face. "I don't know."

"Don't fuck with me."

Without warning Carlos kicked me in the stomach. I gasped in pain and wrapped my arms around my stomach. "Please d-don't. Please don't hurt me."

Carlos stood me up and punched me in the face several times. I let out a scream as pain shot through my face and red blood gushed from my nose. Carlos clamped his hand over my mouth.

"Tell me, Riley." He hissed in my ear. "Tell me just like you told them. It's rude to keep secrets."

I sobbed as I tightened the grip around my belly. I shook my head and felt dizzy as blood streaked down my face from my nose onto my shirt.

Carlos slammed me to the floor and preceded to kick me several times. I bit my tongue, I wasn't giving him the satisfaction of hearing me cry. "Stop, no please!" My voice was shrill. "Just don't kick me again."

He smashed his foot right into the exposed area of my stomach as whimpered in pain as he kicked me many times in same spot. The sharp pain that coursed throughout my stomach brought new tears to my eyes.

"Are you fucking one of them?" He asked as he forced me to my feet and shoved me. "Is that it? It has to be one of them, who'd you tell first?"

I knew if I wanted him to stop I needed to make him feel like he was winning. I finally gave in as his grip around my throat tightened. "L-Logan."

"You're smarter than you look. You told the one who would keep it a secret." He had a smirk on his face."Normally the pretty ones are dumb. Kind of like James."

I sobbed, not being able to control myself. "Let me go. You know who I told. Now l-let me go."

Carlos and smiled and innocent smile even though his eyes were black with malice and hate. "But I'm not done. You haven't answered the most important question yet."

I clawed at his hands and watched as his face went fuzzy. "What's that?"

He put his lips inches away from mine. "Do you love me?"

I began panicking as I felt something warm ran down my leg. I looked down and saw a small trickle of blood. I let out a scream and spat at Carlos' face. "No, I hate you."

"Now Riley that's not a nice thing to say to your boyfriend." He said in a fake sweet voice. "Do you love me?"

"I want to break up." I pleaded. "Just leave me a-alone."

He slammed my face against the wall. "No you don't! You need me, and I need you."

"Carlos please I won't tell anyone!"

He brought his knee up to my stomach and bashed it against my slightly distended belly. The pain seared my skin and I felt sick as I gripped at my belly which felt like it was being stabbed by knives.

"Whatever." He kneed me in the stomach again. "Just remember something."

"What?" I croaked.

"No matter what you do or who you're with you are nothing but I slut." I whispered in my ear.

He brought his knee into the center of my tummy with full force. He slipped his hands around my throat and and slowly cut off my air supply. Tears continued falling down my bruised cheeks as I stared at his beautiful face. I could feel myself slipping away from consciousness. This was it he finally was going to kill me. A weak sob escaped my lips as he grabbed my throat and bashed my head into the wall several times. I slumped to the floor and felt him kick me again.

"I won Riley." He sneered in my ear. "I always do."

I stared through bleary eyes as he spit on me before walking away and rounding the corner, disappearing for good. My eyes drooped shut and I gladly welcome the darkness which began to envelop me.

James was right, Carlos did it. He finally did it, he finally killed me.

AN: He Beat her to a pulp. What do you think will happen next. Maybe 55 by next chapter?


	17. I Can't Loose Her

AN: Hey guys! Here's a new chapter, it kind of sucks and I'm sorry for that. Its mostly a filler until next chapter. Also its in logan's pov so thats new. I wrote this quickly because I'm with family write now. Anyways enjoy and review I have no real goal review wise maybe 64 or 65? You guys rock. Enjoy!

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><p>Logan's POV<p>

"Hey boys." Kelly said walking into our dressing room with a worried expression. " Have you seen Riley?"

I glanced up from my book and frowned. "No why?"

"We can't find her anywhere." She explained. "I asked Carlos but he said no."

James' eyes visibly darkened. "Of course he said that."

Kendall stood up. "We'll help you find her come on guys."

I shut my book and waited until it was just me and James in the room. "Dude what's your deal?"

James shrugged. "What do you mean?"

I narrowed my eyes at him, seeing right through his bullshit. "You've been mopey for days. What's going on?"

James sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "I kissed Riley and I," He looked at his shoes. "I told her I loved her and she didn't take it well."

I raised my eyebrows. "Well she's pregnant and as much as we hate she loves Carlos."

He turned and kicked the wall. "You don't think I know that?"

I rubbed his shoulder. "I know it sucks but it'll okay. Now we should go help Kelly find her."

James nodded in agreement and tensed when Carlos walked by. "You're girlfriend's missing."

"I know, she was in her dressing room like 20 minutes ago. I went outside to call my dad and then Kelly told me she was missing." Carlos scuffed his shoe against the floor and wouldn't look up. " Which way did Kelly go?"

I opened my mouth to answer but before I could reply a shriek rang out to our left. It was Kelly. James and I looked at each other before bursting into a run. We made a way through a series of narrow hallways in the back of the arena. I skidded to a stop when I saw Kendall leaning over something and Kelly against the wall with her phone to her ear. I walked down the dimly lit hall. Kendall wasn't leaning over something, he was leaning over someone, it was Riley.

"Oh my god." I muttered as I looked at her. "Shit is she b-breathing?"

Kendall nodded and Riley's chest barely rose and fell. There was dried blood under her slightly crooked nose and on her shirt. She had rapidly forming bruises around her eyes and mouth. There were bruises around her throat and her hair was matter with blood on the back of her head.

"G-Guys." James whispered as he clamped a shaky hand over his mouth, he has tears streaking his face was pointing at something with his free hand. "Look."

We all looked at where he was pointing and that's when I noticed she had a hand clutched to her stomach. Kendall lifted up her shirt revealing several bruises on her stomach. There was one bruise that stood out me, a dark already purplish bruise on her lower stomach right where her stomach poked out.

I crouched down next to her and check for a pulse. Underneath my fingers I could just make out the slow beating of her heart, I picked up head up and placed it on my lap. That when I noticed the small stream of blood running down her legs. I bit down hard in my lip to prevent a yelp from escaping my lips.

"She's b-bleeding. This is bad this is so bad." I panicked as I paced back and forth. I stared at Kelly with watery eyes. "Did you call 911?"

She nodded. "I have to let G-Gustavo and Carlos know what happened."

Something in James clicked at the mention of Carlos he stood up and glared at Kendall and I. "That asshole."

James took off down the hall and Kendall and I followed him and I came to a stop when I saw James lunging at Carlos.

"Dude the hell is your problem!" Carlos spat as he wiped the blood from his mouth.

James shoved him. "Part of me hates you right now!"

"Why?"

James scoffed as he punched him in the face. "You _beat_ the fucking shit out of Riley for the past year and I'm sick of it."

Carlos shoved him back and tried to knock James off of his feet. "What are you talking about?"

James rolled his eyes. "You know exactly what I'm talking about!" He snarled as he barred his teeth. "You beat the shit of Riley."

Carlos' eyes grew wide and he looked around the room and shook my head at him. "No I didn't."

Kendall ran his hand through his hair as he stepped towards him. "She told us everything. We've known for a while."

Carlos decked James in the face. "I'm done with you guys! If my own best friends can't believe me I don't know if I can be friends with any of you." Carlos narrowed his eyes on mine. "And what about you? You're not gonna tell me how disgusted you are with me?"

"I'm sorry I don't associate with woman beaters." I spat. "James come on he's not worth it."

Carlos didn't hesitate to shove past Kendall and I as he stormed off. It was only when we were met by the silence of the stage crew and Gustavo did I hear the distant whooping of sirens and realize we should go with her.

"Come on." I whispered to James who was somewhat hysterical. "We should go meet her there."

He nodded and ran his hand through his hair and shut his eyes. "You're right."

Kendall and I wrapped an arm around his shoulder and led him to the studio car which was waiting outside for us.

James drew in shaky breath and looked over at me. "Do you think she'll be okay?"

I felt my stomach clench, I honestly wasn't sure but I knew I couldn't tell him that. "Yeah I'm sure she'll be fine"

"But there was a lot of blood and down her l-legs. There was so much b-blood and she was barely breathing."

Kendall rubbed his back. "She's a fighter. She'll be okay, I promise."

"And Gustavo heard us telling Carlos off about hurting her. Now he'll get in trouble and he won't hurt her anymore."

For the first time in my life I watched James break down and his tough guy image crumple as he let tears fall down his face. "I hate him, Carlos is such a dick."

"I know I hate him too."

James looked out the window and sighed. "She has to be okay. I can't l-loose her."

AN: The truth is out! Do you think Riley will be okay? What about the baby? Also would you read a sequel to this?! I'll totally write one if I know you'll read it! Happy New Years


	18. Free At Last

AN: shout out to wordsandwonders for reviewing every chapter in like and hour! Maybe 85 reviews this time. Sorry I took so long btw I've had to work and deal with school. Next one wi be up soon!

"I just don't get it. What do you mean he beat her up?" Mama Knight cried as Logan explained what happened. "He wouldn't do that."

"He has for a while, she was trying to leave him and I guess he got her alone."

Kendall wrapped his arm around his mother and sighed. "It'll be okay, and Griffin already said Carlos is getting major trouble. It's okay."

Kelly walked into the waiting room and hung up her phone. "That was Gustavo he found Carlos and is bringing him over right now."

Logan walked over and draped his arm around James' shoulder. "You okay?"

James shrugged and kept his eyes on his hands which had Riley's blood on them. "There was so much b-blood."

"I know but she's tough she'll be okay." Logan tried to console him. "I mean she was breathing."

James looked up. "Here comes the doctor."

Logan turned around and anxiously bit his lip. "It'll be okay."

"You guys are here for Riley Cavanaugh?"

"Yeah is she okay?" Kendall asked

The older man sighed. "I'm not going to lie she suffered a lot of trauma. Her nose is broken, three of her ribs are broken and lip is split. She has several lacerations on her face, bruises on her throat and stomach and a concussion as well as a broken wrist."

"Oh my god, she'll be okay though right?" Logan asked as he thought about the baby. "Can we s-see her?"

"She's been awake for a while she's still in pain, and nervous but she's been asking for you three."

James jumped to his feet and took the lead with his friends following behind him. James took a calming breath before walking inside.

xxx

"Riley?"

I relaxed when I saw James, Logan and Kendall walk in. "H-hi."

James instantly grabbed the hand that wasn't in a cast. "Thank god you're okay."

I unweaved my fingers from his and I laid my hand on my belly. "He k-kicked me so h-hard."

"I know it'll be okay." Logan whispered as he rubbed my back. "Is the baby okay?"

I shrugged. "They h-haven't check yet."

"What happened?"

I bit my lip but winced when I hit the stitches. "He said he needed to talk to me and he looked like he was going to cry and I left my phone. We got back in that h-hallway and he started beating me up and wanted to know who I told first. He said I was fucking you guys and that I had to learn a lesson. He kicked my stomach and-" I let out a sob and touched my throat. "He choked me and slammed my head against the wall. He said I'm a slut then I blacked out."

"Fuck." Kendall whispered. "He's a monster."

James jumped up he was red faced. "I'm going to kill him."

"D-don't." I said weakly. "Don't hurt him, I need to break up with him first."

Logan smiled. "I'm proud of you I-"

The door opened and a doctor walked in and explained how I need an ultrasound. James, Logan and Kendall stepped aside and the doctor dimmed the lights.

"Have you felt any movement since the attack."

"N-No. It really hurts and I have cramps, I can't feel anything."

"Okay let's see." She pulled my gown up and grimaced at the bruises and swollen ribs I now had. She gingerly touched my stomach, I jumped at the pain and tears stung my eyes. "Well your stomach feels fine but we'll do an ultrasound."

I stared at James and I started crying as she moved the control over my stomach. She was silent as she stared intensely at the screen.

"Is the baby okay?" I whispered hoarsely. I was terrified and my mouth was dry. "Please just tell me."

She sighed. "Riley I am so sorry. The attack combined with how thin you are caused you miscarry."

"N-no! You're lying to me, it has to be okay!" I sobbed as I rubbed my belly. "No."

"Riley I'm so sorry. I really am."

I squeezed my eyes shut let out a sob as I clung onto whoever was holding me. I buried my face in their shoulder and sobbed, Carlos took away the one thing that mattered the most to me.

"It's okay." Logan tried to soothe me. "At least they're in a better place now and won't be hurt by Carlos."

I shrugged and continued to rub my stomach. "I would've kept him safe and away from Carlos when he was mad."

Kendall hugged me. " I believe you and it's not your fault. Carlos is an asshole, but you'll be okay."

"I wanted to be a g-good mom. I would've been a g-good m-mom."

"You would've been the best mom." Logan sighed as he rubbed my back. "But maybe you need to wait until you find someone who won't hurt you."

I nodded and looked up when the door opened. It was the nurse. "You have a visitor, a Mr. Garcia."

I tensed up and started shaking. "Let him in."

She nodded and shut the door. I turned to Logan, James and Kendall. "Can you guys leave I need to do this on my own."

They nodded and filed out of the room. I took a deep breath as he walked in the room, he instantly winced when he saw my face. He was beautiful as ever but I scared to even look up at him for too long.

"Hey baby, you feeling better?"

I looked up at him and scowled. "No I don't feel fucking better you tried to kill me."

"No I didn't you fell remember?"

Tears fells down my face. "Yeah I feel that's why I have a concussion, broken ribs, a broken nose, stitches and why I feel like dying."

Carlos sat down and stroked my face. "I love you chica but you can't leave me."

I whimpered at his touch his felt like fire on my skin. "I hate you."

"Why do hate me?" He seemed amused. "What did I do?"

I bit my lip and looked at my belly. "I was p-pregnant."

He smirked disappeared and his hand dropped to my belly. "You're pregnant?"

I sobbed a little as he rubbed my stomach which still poked out. "I miscarried, you fucking did this to me and my baby. You beat me until I miscarried you kicked my so hard you took away the only thing I ever loved.

Carlos stopped rubbing my stomach and just let his hands sit there. he looked pale and sick "I w-wouldn't stopped if-"

"You would've stopped beating me?! You shouldn't have been beating in the first place. You shouldn't have hit me and beat me, you're a fucking pig Carlos. You're a murder and I hope rot in hell."

Carlos' hand found my mouth and he covered it as he slapped me across the face. "Listen here you little whore, I'm sorry about the baby and I'm sad to that my baby's gone but it's not my fault. It probably wasn't even mine I know you've been fucking James or Logan."

I shook my head and tried to pry his hand off. I finally got it off and whimpered a little and rubbed my belly. "It was y-yours you got me pregnant when you raped me."

"Yeah but no one will ever know that."

I looked down and braced for impact. "James, Logan and Kendall know and I know about Abigail."

Carlos grabbed my hair and pulled so I was looking at him. He spat in my face and wrapped his other hand around my throat. "I'm going to kill you Riley. One day when you're alone I'm going to fucking slit your throat open and leave you to die. That was our little secret, they didn't have to know how you wouldn't fuck me so I did it myself. Besides you liked it."

I sobbed hysterically and shook my head, why couldn't he just leave me alone. "Stop."

He kissed me and smirked. "I love you but I'm not going to jail."

I panicked as he kissed me and rubbed my stomach, his hands felt like they were burning my flesh as he felt my stomach.

"I want to you to have my babies Riley." He whispered and I noticed he was crying. "I'm so fucking sorry about this one just give me one more chance and we'll have a baby and get married and everything you want."

I smiled a little as I laid my hand on top of his, this could go one of two ways. I could stay with him and have a baby and get beat up. Because he would clearly go back to his old ways. Or I could leave and be broken up about that and move on and find someone different.

"Do you love me Carlos?"

Carlos sighed. "Of course I do and I'll earn your trust back."

I frowned. "Carlos I can't do this a-anymore. I want to break up with you."

"No you don't, I love you. If you break up with me I'll kill myself and I'll kill you."

I shook my head. "I loved you too. But I don't anymore it's not love it's fear now. No you won't you cant hurt me anymore ."

The door opened and an officer came in and forced Carlos' hands behind his back. Carlos struggled a little and tears fell down his face as he glared at me. I watched him get led down the hallway and I smiled a little. I was finally free of Carlos Garcia and the hell he put me through.

AN: She finally dumped him! Well here was 18 and 19 will be up soon would you guys be okay if I took time planning the sequel? Please review .


	19. It Gets Better

An: Thanks for all the reviews and I love how I got 3 reviews in an hour! Thanks so much! Please enjoy and review! This chapter kind of sucks but im tired!

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><p>"Riley! Riley come baby wake up!"<p>

I turned and winced at the pain in my stomach as my eyes shot open and I inhaled deeply. I stared up at pair of hazel eyes that were full of worry.

"Carlos?"

"No babe it's James." He whispered. "You had a nightmare.

I sat and peered out my dark bedroom. I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Again?" My voice was barely above a whisper.

"Yeah but its okay." James soothes, throwing an arm around me. "Its been a few weeks you're still traumatized."

A small smile pulled over my lips. "You sound like my therapist."

He kissed my forehead. "Its true though. You'll be okay though I promise."

I rested my head on his shoulder and sat there in silence. It had been six weeks since I lost my baby and Carlos's arrest, slowly my injuries were healing with the exception of a broken nose, wrist and ribs. The nightmares however seemed like they were here to stay, at least once a night I'd find myself stuck in that hallway with him, or with him on top of me forcing himself on me or with a pillow over my face. I still caught myself running my hand over my stomach to find nothing but the last remnants of a baby bump. Luckily Logan, James and Kendall had been taking turns staying the night so I could feel save enough to sleep.

"He h-had the pillow again and I couldn't breathe." I gasped in between a new round of sobs. "He was going to kill me."

"You're safe Riley I promise, he's in jail for a long time."

I bit my lip, I hadn't seen Carlos since the trip to the police station I had to take after I was released so I could identify him as my attacker. I would never forget how his eyes burned black with hate as I confirmed that was him.

"There's still the trial, what if he's found innocent?" I said voicing my true fear. "Then he'll come after me."

"Riley there's a shitload of evidence against him." Kendall said walking into my bedroom. "Besides they police took pictures of the injuries and bruises. Then there's the baby and how he's acted towards you in front of us."

"Plus he basically admitted it in front of is." Logan came in behind him.

I picked at my blanket and shrugged I faced the clock and saw it was 6:45, I had to be at A.M. LA by 7:30 for my interview I agreed to do to clear the air about the rumors going around and to promote the EP I was putting out at the end of the month. I pushed myself out of bed and grabbed the outfit Kelly left me last night.

"I'm showering and I'll meet you in the lobby."

They all nodded and left my room. James lingered a little bit and then grabbed my hand. "It's going to be fine." He pecked my lips and I smiled faintly.

"Alright."

James left and I walked into the bathroom and stared at my face. The final bruises were fading and I wasn't pallid and sallow anymore. I my eyes were still dark underneath from my lack of sleep and the bruising from my broken which I had surgery for. I was starting to gain weight back and wasn't as frail.

After a quick showering I changed and dried my hair I slipped my shoes on and met the guys in the lobby. I smiled and looped my fingers through James'. We weren't exactly a couple but we had grown a lot closer. I sat next to him in the car and absentmindedly stared out the window. We got to the studio and I followed the guys into the green room.

"You okay?"

I looked up and saw Kendall looking at me. "Just nervous. What if I say the wrong thing?"

"It'll be fine I promise."

"Riley were ready for you." The producer said as she clipped a mic to my shirt. "If you'll follow me."

I followed her down the hall and into cozy interview room where Katherine Star, the head anchor, was sitting. She smiled and I sat across from her.

"Hi Riley thanks for doing this interview." She flashed her dazzling white TV ready smile. "If you want to stop at anytime just let me know."

"Okay."

She shuffled through her note cards. "When did you Carlos meet?"

"Almost a year ago when Gustavo flew me down to LA to talk about signing me to his label. Big Time Rush was at the studio and Carlos talked to me and gave me his number. I ended up moving to the same apartment building and we talked a little before we started dating."

She nodded and shuffled through her cards once more. "When did he first hurt you."

I bit my lip and sighed. "After a party when his first album came out. He was drunk and he slapped me. I didn't think anything of it because we were both drunk."

"And it just got worse?"

I nodded. "Y-Yeah he'd starting hitting me in the face and then it escalated to beatings. He'd hurt me for no reason, like wearing shorts or w-writing a song." I grabbed a tissue and wiped my eyes. "I couldn't leave though."

"Why's that?"

"I loved him." I whispered as I thought about the way he'd make me laugh. "He was my first serious boyfriend I loved but I realized by the end it wasn't love it was just fear that made me stay w-with him."

"Was that night like, when he attacked you?"

I could hear the shaking in my voice, I sniffled and remembered the throbbing pain all over my limp body. "Horrible. He led me to this back hallway and beat me. He slammed my head against the wall, choked me, punched me and he kicked me over and o-over again." I cried a little. "I thought I was going to die."

We sat in silence for a few moments while I composed myself. "Sorry next question?"

She smiled and squeezed my hand. "I just wanted to clear some rumors up. Is it true that he cheated on you?"

"Several times, its true." I explained. "Some fans and girls he worked with. But whenever I even looked at a guy he'd be so mad."

We went back and forth for a few minutes before she sighed. "This is the big question. Are you pregnant?"

I inhaled and automatically rubbed my belly. "I miscarried during the a-attach was almost five months but I was sickly thin and he kicked my belly."

"Riley I am so sorry."

"It's okay. We had a memorial service and I realized the baby's safer and in a better place." I wiped my makeup stained cheeks. "It's just hard."

"I bet." Katherine sympathized with me. "What do you have to say to girls stuck in abusive relationships?"

I thought for a brief moment. "I guess I just want to say to get help. Get out while you can and before things get worse. Leave at the first sign, its better to be safe than sorry, I wish I knew that. I know what happened to me looks awful but and can be so much worse. Never be embarrassed to ask for help when you're leaving, never be ashamed of what you're going through these things make us who we are." I sighed heavily and thought about my experience, the abuse, my baby and Carlos. Then I thought of James and my music. It gets better but only if you make it better for yourself."

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><p><p>

AN: That's the last real chapter, next is the epilogue the the sequel shortly after that. I hope you enjoyed! Maybe possibly up to 90 reviews my goal is 100 by the end of this first story!


	20. Epilogue

An: Well sorry I took forever but I couldn't get it to a point that i liked it but I didnt want you to wait any longer so here you are. Review, enjoy and stay tuned for the sequel which will be out in a few weeks!

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>My stomach churned nervously as I shifted in my seat. My eyes were locked onto his, which were full of fake tears and anger. He looked so out of place with the silver cuffs peeking out from the sleeves of the orange jumpsuit.<p><p>

"I'm sorry can you repeat the question?" I asked as I cleared my throat.

"I asked when did Mr. Garcia begin abusing you?"

I stared at the lawyer in front me and sighed. "Just after their first album came out. It was just a slap at first, then it got worse."

"And I understand he once forced himself on you?"

I nodded and Carlos turned red with anger. I tensed for a moment before I remembered he was handcuffed."Yeah, after he beat me up for writing a song. He was like you still owe me."

"And then what happened?"

I wrung my hands and could still feel his hands on my body. "He tore my clothes off and raped me. He w-wouldn't quit. I kept telling him that I wanted my first time to be special but he i-ignored me." Tears leaked down face and Carlos shook his head. "Then he shoved me out of the apartment."

The lawyer nodded and handed me a box of tissues. "Could point this man out for the record?"

I lifted my arm and pointed a trembling finger at Carlos who had his hands curled in fists. "Right there."

"That'll be all Riley if you could take a seat."

I stepped off of the stand and walked to my seat and gripped my mother's hand. I saw Logan give me a small smile after he was sworn in.

"State your name?"

Logan cleared in throat. "Logan Mitchell."

"Would you please tell the jury what you know about Carlos and Riley's relationship?"

"Well I know he wasn't very good to her. I mean in front of people yeah but when it was just them he was a jerk. I mean I kind of assumed he hurt her before she told me. He was always grabbing her and really rude." Logan sighed and fidgeted in his seat. "Then that night backstage- it was obvious and everyone finally figured it out."

After Logan had stepped down, Kendall, James, Kelly and Gustavo all gave their statement and I almost burst into tears as they mentioned how awful Carlos was.

"Carlos Garcia to the stand."

The bailiff led Carlos up to the stand and he stared right at me. I rolled my eyes when he smiled at me.

"Carlos would care to explain your side of the story?" My lawyer asked

"She was bitch and a liar but I never hit her. I had to set her straight but I just yelled at her a lot." He was faking more tears. "I love her and I would never hurt her."

"Then why would she claim rape? And that you caused a miscarriage?"

Carlos scoffed. "She's lying for attention, she's whore and we all know it."

Tears stung my eyes. His words were harsh and he looked liked he did before he would beat me.

"Then why have several witnesses including your friends reported otherwise? All they all lying?"

Carlos was going to snap I could tell and see it in his eyes.

"Fine! I did it. I beat the living shit out of that fucking whore and I would gladly do it again!" He screamed as he lunged forward. "The fucking bitch didn't even tell me she was knocked up."

I buried my face in James' shoulder. "Stop it." I whispered. "Stop."

"But you know what?" He was a little softer. "I love her and I would die for her in a heartbeat. Riley baby I know I was an ass but I couldn't help it. I love you so much please just take me back, I need you. We can get married and have kids just like you wanted."

I shook my head and let out a sob and touched my stomach. I stood up from the court room and ran into the hallway. I crumpled against the wall.

"Riley come on, he's not going to hurt you." James said sitting next to me. "Its okay."

"Maybe I was wrong, m-maybe I should just take him back. I deserved what I got from him." I whispered as I wiped my eyes. "He loves me and he didn't mean it."

James cupped my face in his hands. "Don't ever say that again, he beat you and raped you. No one deserves that and you know it's too late the jury'll reach a verdict soon." He brushed my hair from my eyes. "He'll hurt you again and I can't let that happen."

I unburied my face from his shoulder. "Can we just sit here then? I can't go back in there."

James nodded and I snuggled into his arms. We sat there in silence while I calmed down and tried to think about Carlos.

"Guys they need Riley again. They reached a verdict." Logan said as he approached us. "After that it's just sentencing."

"Come on." James pulled me to my feet and wrapped his arm around. "It'll be okay."

We silently followed Logan back into the court room and saw Carlos sitting with his lawyer. His mom was behind him and gripping his shoulder, she had tears in her eyes. I took my seat and tried to even out my breathing.

"Has the jury reached a verdict?"

"We have your honor."

"For the offense of rape?"

"Guilty."

Carlos shook his head and bit down on his lip.

"For involuntary manslaughter?"

"Guilty."

Carlos' mom began crying hysterically as she realized he'd be going to jail. The guilt began eating away at my insides and I watched Mr. Garcia try to comfort her.

"And finally for the crime of domestic abuse and battery?"

The juror cleared her throat. "Guilty."

Carlos crumpled up in his chair and I watched his body tremble. His eyes caught mine and he stared at me as he lips shook.

"I'm sorry." He mouthed to me as his eyes teared up. "I'm sorry."

I turned away and a smile pulled at my face. I saw my mom smiling at me.

The judge banged the gavel and cleared his throat. "For the crime of rape you've been sentenced two years. For the crime of involuntary manslaughter, one year and finally four for abuse and battery."

Seven years. He'd be gone for seven years and I was free at last. I felt myself be pulled into a hug by my parents and step brother. They were all smiling and telling me it was all over.

"It's over Riley." My mother whispered. "We don't have to talk about this ever again.

I nodded numbly and stared at Carlos. He was trying comfort his mother as he fought tears. The guilty feeling in my stomach grew as I watched him bite his lip again as his dad spoke into his ear. He looked ashamed and he started shaking his head. He glanced up and his eyes locked onto mine again, the same eyes that were the first thing I saw in the morning for almost a year. The same eyes that I stared into as I laid in a puddle of my own blood that night backstage. I watched as he was led away and disappeared behind a closed door.

"Riley are you okay?" James asked as he touched my shoulder. "You look out of it."

I snapped my head in his direction. "J-Just tired."

He smiled at me and kissed my forehead "It's all over now. He's gone."

"Yeah." I whispered as a lump grew in my throat. "He's gone."

**1 month later**

My shoes clacked ominously down the hallway as put my keys and phone back in my purse. I smiled at the man who held the door open for me, I picked up the phone felt a month's worth of guilt come rushing back.

"What do you want?"

I didn't flinch at his tone like I would've before. "I just wanted to see how you are."

Carlos rolled his eyes. "Pretty crappy I'm in jail. What do you want anyways?"

"I m-miss you, I've been thinking about you since the trial."

His face softened a little and sighed. "I have too. R-Riley I'm s-sorry I hurt you, I'm so sorry. I've been getting help though, and I'm a monster I know but I love you and I didn't mean it."

"Carlos." I whispered as I pressed my hand to the glass pane. "Carlos, stop."

"Just give me a chance baby. Just one more chance and we can have a baby and get married." He begged as he gripped the phone. "I'm in love with you. Please I didn't mean it."

I didn't respond. Out of all the times Carlos and I fought and he said he didn't mean it this was the worse. I could hear it in his voice every time he told me he loved me. I shook my head at his and watched his face fall.

"I'm done with you Carlos." I sneered. "I'm done letting you scare me and controlling me. I'm moving and I'm not waiting around for someone like you."

Carlos pressed himself against the glass and whimpered. "I didn't mean it! Riley come on I didn't mean it."

"I know." I said as stood for my seat. "You never mean it."

I turned away from his and headed for the door. A weight lifted from my shoulders and my stomach untangled it's knots. I was finally free of Carlos Garcia and the hell he put me through.

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><p>An: I feel like that was a really shitty epilogue but I wrote it this way to set it up for the sequel. I just want to thank all of you for reviewing and liking this story. It means a lot that people followed Riley through her journey and I truly hope you'll follow Carlos through his in the sequel. I'll be posting info soon. Let me know if you plan to read the sequel. Again thank you for everything see you soon.<p>

MTG


	21. Sequel

Hello! The sequel to this story it's now posted its called forgive and forget! the link it's below! **Please ****review the story i need to know if people are interested in** it!

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><p>Summary: After being in jail for the abuse of his girlfriend Carlos Garcia is finally released, and he's determined to repair the strained relationships he left behind. But will love be enough his friends to accept him? More importantly will it be enough a haunted Riley to overcome her fears and finally forgive and forget?<p>

Link: s/9143196/1/Forgive-and-Forget

PLEASE GO READ AND REVIEW I THINK YOU WILL ENJOY.

Plus i worked really hard on it!


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